Supernatural S4E7: It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

“That guy’s so vanilla he makes vanilla seem spicy.”

As we open, a man eats Halloween candy and then retrieves a razor from the roof of his mouth. It’s been a while since Supernatural managed to gross me the fuck out, so it’s about time this happened. Blood shoots everywhere. He dies. The bros find a hex bag in his kitchen. The next day, a high-school girl at a pre-Halloween party goes bobbing for apples and boils to death. The bros find a hex bag in the couch. As Dean puts it, “Witches are so freaking skeevy.”

The brothers pick up the trail of a witch who is attempting to raise Samhain, the demon for whom Halloween was created. This is bad, because Samhain has the power to raise all manner of things that go bump in the night. They figure out that the witch is Tracy, a tiny blonde cheerleader, and are mid-plan when Castiel shows up with the angel Uriel to stop them. Sam falls all over himself in his delight to meet the angels, but is sorely disappointed once they begin to speak.

Raising Samhain is one of the 66 seals, and they cannot allow it to be broken. They are going to destroy the entire town, including hundreds of innocent people, in order to stop it. It’s the old “the good of the one vs. the good of the many” argument. A horrified Sam protests that angels are supposed to help people, not hurt them. Castiel replies, “Have faith in the plan. It comes from heaven, which makes it just.” Dean refuses to leave town, knowing that after Castiel went to all the trouble of saving him from hell, there’s no way he’ll let him die now. Castiel agrees to let the boys try. Later, when Uriel suggests they just drag ol’ Dean out of town, Castiel mysteriously references their “real orders.”

The bros discover that a high-school art teacher is involved and shoot him up after finding Tracy tied up in his basement while he holds a knife to her throat. Unfortunately, Tracy and the teacher are in it together and she manages to raise Samhain, who inhabits the teacher’s body and then breaks Tracy’s neck. While this is going on, Sam smears blood all over his face and Dean’s, thus creating “masks” that hide them from Samhain.

Samhain trots off to the cemetery and brings the dead to life. Dean makes Sammy promise not to use his abilities in this fight. At the cemetery, Dean battles a zombie horde while Sam goes after Samhain, who is shocked to find that Sam is impervious to his demonic skills. Sam tries to use Ruby’s knife, he really does, but Samhain knocks it away and he is forced to use his powers. Samhain is so powerful that he manages to struggle through Sam’s psychic onslaught, moving closer and closer to Sammy while Dean watches in horror. The fight takes so much out of poor Sammy that his head pounds and his nose bleeds, but eventually he conquers Samhain.

The next day, Uriel reprimands Sam. He was specifically told not to use his powers, and if he steps out of line again Uriel will not hesitate to kill him. The trouble-making angel’s parting words are, “Ask Dean what he remembers from hell.” Across town, Castiel tells Dean that the angels’ real orders were to let Dean do whatever he wanted in order to test his leadership capabilities. He admits that he sometimes has doubts about god’s wishes, and has no idea whether Dean has passed the test, or failed.


ANTM Cycle 11: Red Light Edition

There isn’t much here. The girls go to Amsterdam and have to find their house through a series of clues, like a scavenger hunt. They team up in pairs, and Sam and Elina end up together. They win, and get 50 extra frames to split. That night, Annaleigh, Marjorie, and Elina share the large tub. Samantha, bigoted as usual, describes what they’re doing as “a lesbian party.” Elina comments that Amsterdam reminds her of the Ukraine, and Sheena and McKey get very irritated by that. Talk about intolerant. While I admit that Elina can be a bit whiny, the sense of “us vs. them” in this cycle is overwhelming.

A group of Dutch designers is taking over part of the red light district, and the girls pose in windows much like prostitutes do, in pairs. The winners get to walk in Amsterdam Fashion Week. McKey and Samantha win.

This one is pretty unoriginal. The girls pose on a ship.

McKey is editorial, breaks out of her shell, is creative.
Elina is editorial but completely ignores Jay when he talks. Like, completely.
Samantha starts weak but gets better.
Sheena looks like a can-can dancer, does lewd poses.
Marjorie does well, takes constructive criticism without crying.
Annaleigh is beautiful, Jay says “hallelujah!”

McKey is wearing a fabulous outfit, was fantastic, she really gets it.
Elina looks the most high-fashion though in general her film was stiff.
Samantha filled the frame, it’s a great shot.
Sheena has a great face but her body is terrible, the photo is dull.
Marjorie is gorgeous, passionate, and strong though she’s shy in person.
Annaleigh looks like a beautiful pirate, uses the props, they love it.

McKey has taken her best shot yet.
Elina looks the most high-fashion though she didn’t listen to Jay.
Samantha looks like a mallrat in person, her shots don’t match.
Sheena has no life, can’t balance hoochie and pretty.
Marjorie “is like Bambi” in person but transforms in front of the camera.

The first photo is McKey.
The bottom two are and Elina and Sheena.

Elina takes pretty pictures but they don’t see a model.
Sheena is full of personality but her photos are just ok.

Sheena is eliminated. Hallelujah!


The Ex List S1E...

Yep. It's been canceled, effective immediately. I'm going to assume that Bella and Augie would have ended up together eventually.

90210 S1E8: There’s No Place Like Homecoming

“Homecoming is everything that’s wrong with this place in stark relief.”

Ethan tells Annie he wants to ask her to homecoming but he can’t because it will hurt Naomi. She is all giggles and batted lashes. Really? Annie’s skirts are way too short and I can’t believe Debbie would go for that. But anyway, Naomi invites Annie over to get ready for the dance and they have fun. But when she sees them dancing together later, Naomi tells Annie that she can’t be friends with her and date Ethan. Annie chooses Naomi, but then makes out with Ethan in the parking lot. Classy.

Silver has made an appointment to get her wisdom teeth out on homecoming because she could care less about the dance, cause she’s indie and all that. Dixon plays it cool and comes over to hang out with her chipmunk-cheeked, high-on-Percocet self. When she realizes he really wants to go to the dance, though, she gets all dressed up, surprises him, and tells him to never be afraid to tell her things. They are totally cute as a couple. Where’s the strife?

Adriana goes to rehab. She is distraught because Naomi won’t return her calls. Navid keeps visiting her and bringing her stuff and is obviously in love with her. She doesn’t get it, and finally he screams that he likes her. Apparently they were friends when they were younger and he’s always loved her. Whatever. This is too out-of-the-blue, and doesn’t work very well. Naomi meets a hot young thug in detention. At first he’s all, “whatever, white girl,” but then she speaks fluent Spanish and he does a second take. He attempts to woo her at Homecoming and they dance, so hopefully he’ll be back on the scene in upcoming episodes. In the end, Naomi forgives Adriana. These kids are way too nice to each other.

Ryan catches Kimberly buying drugs at the dance and throws a hissy fit until she admits she’s a cop to shut him up. Then this happens, literally:

Ryan: How old are you?
Kimberly: I’m 25, why?
Ryan: grabs her and passionately kisses her

Ew! He did have a thing for her even when he thought she was a 16-year-old. PS, I learned on IMDB that Ryan Eggold, who plays teacher Ryan, is in reality one year older than Dustin Milligan, who plays Ethan. And it shows! What kind of casting is that?!?

Finally, Debbie gets fed up with Tracy and threatens to punch her in the face if she ever touches her husband again. Cindy Walsh would never do such a thing!


The Ex List S1E4: Do You Love Me, Do You Surfer…Boy?

“’The one’ isn’t going to be called ‘The Animal.’”

Although I still enjoy The Ex List, it’s getting a bit monotonous. And, from everything I’ve read, it’s going to be canceled any minute. So, I might stop blogging about it. In this ep, Bella runs into an ex. Shocking. She dumped him because all he cared about was surfing. Now, he’s become a famous surfer, and though she has fun with him she can’t believe he’s still a wild child. But, in a twist, it turns out that it’s all a marketing ploy. And for the first time, Bella doesn’t break up with him at the end. He’s not Mr. Right Now, but he is Maybe Mr. Right Someday. Plus, he’s super cute.


Supernatural S4E6: Yellow Fever

“He’s even afraid of PEZ dispensers, with their dead little eyes.”

The Winchester boys investigate the mysterious death-by-heart-attack of Frank, an incredibly healthy marathon runner. He is not the first person in town to die of fright, so they know something is up. They do some interviews and learn that the dead man was kind of a dick, though his behavior improved after his wife’s suicide. Dean starts to get a little jumpy. The boys learn that what affected Frank, and is now affecting Dean, is “ghost sickness,” which kills within 48 hours. Sam points out that all the infected were dicks. Dean replies, “You’re a dick too.” And Sam says, “Apparently, I’m not.” Ha!

It is pretty funny to watch Dean being afraid of everything – he won’t drive over 20 mph, he won’t carry a gun in case it goes off, he won’t stay on the fourth floor of a hotel because it is too high up. Not so funny is his fear of returning to hell, and his hallucination of a yellow-eyed Sam trying to kill him. While exploring the local mill, the boys come face to face with the ghost of Luther Garland, and they eventually learn that he used to have a crush on Frank’s wife. Wracked with grief after her death, Frank decided that Luther had something to do with it and murdered the man by dragging him behind his truck (apparently there is a term for this, and it’s “road-hauling”). The sheriff, who also happened to be Frank’s friend, didn’t pursue the case. And they can’t burn Luther’s bones, because his remains are spread all over the stretch of road he was dragged down.

Bobby arrives to help, and he and Sam return to the mill while Dean stays in their hotel room drinking and watching cartoons. But then he hallucinates Lilith, who says horrible things about how he remembers every moment of being in hell and it’s time to go back. Meanwhile, Sam manages to wrap an iron chain around Luther’s neck and Bobby road-hauls the ghost, who dissipates. Dean immediately returns to his former cocky self (“I’m still alive, so … go team”), but when Sam asks what his hallucinations were, he lies. As usual. Does it never occur to these boys that telling each other the truth might actually help them do their job better?

And then, in something you normally only see in DVD special features, there is a short bit that shows Jensen Ackles lip-syncing “Eye of the Tiger” while the crew laughs in the background. He really hams it up, at one point even sticking his leg out and strumming it like a guitar. It was fabulous, and you can see it on YouTube here.


ANTM Cycle 11: We Hate America Edition

Since it was a commercial, there is no photo this week. Plus, Blogger is being a pain in the ass.

This season is really weird what with the whole “European vs. American” issue being way too big a deal. A bunch of the girls accuse Elina and Marjorie of “hating America” when they start the episode, again, talking (to each other) about how Europeans are raised differently, and Americans just can’t understand. Sheena asks if they even like America, and what they hear is, “Go back to your own country.” I don’t really believe that’s what she meant, but she did say it in an awfully bitchy tone. I liked Sheena just fine, until now. Later, Annaleigh tells Samantha that she does and says a lot of things that can be construed as offensive. Sheena loses it, and she and Elina get into a huge fight. Sheena describes the issue as “Good vs. Evil.” I hate her.

The Swirl Twins teach the girls how to model accessories. For their challenge, they wear full body stockings (which also cover their faces) and pose against a blue-screen-type deal so that on the monitor, all you see are the clothes and accessories. The designer calls it the “Invisible Model.” The winner gets a holiday spread in Seventeen magazine. Elina complains (as usual) about being claustrophobic, but ends up doing well and wins. Most of the other girls are terrible. Marjorie in particular gets nailed because the top part of her dress falls to her waist and she doesn’t notice. But she is wearing a body stocking, so I can see how she wouldn’t necessarily feel it slip. Elina gets to choose two friends to do the shoot with, and she picks Marjorie and Annaleigh. This pisses Samantha and Sheena off because Elina “hates holidays because she’s an atheist.” WTF is wrong with these ignorant girls? I don’t believe in God, but I love the holidays.

Joslyn gets very sick and starts vomiting profusely in the hair & makeup studio. The girls do a commercial for Cover Girl, and Cycle 10 winner Whitney is there to guide them. She looks awesome. Unlike previous years, the girls get to use a teleprompter. However, Jay warns them this may be more difficult because they need to seem as if they’re not reading.

McKey is clueless.
Elina is too controlled (E: “I’m sick of hearing that.” J: “Well, I’m sick of saying it.”)
Joslyn powers through her illness but is too fake and overdoes it.
Samantha is genuine and energetic.
Sheena flows across the screen effortlessly.
Marjorie cries after one bad take, Jay feels he needs to coddle her and he’s tired of it.
Annaleigh is amazing, conversational, and engaging.

The girls have to do a runway walk in clogs. They are going to … Amsterdam! I am jealous.
McKey is looks gorgeous but her commercial is not good.
Elina is a “closed fist,” she’s still holding back too much.
Joslyn is fake and used her arms too much, but you couldn’t tell she was sick.
Samantha didn’t make it her own, didn’t enunciate, they can’t understand her.
Sheena works well on TV.
Marjorie rushed too much, her hands were all over the place.
Annaleigh is the best in the history of ANTM and was the only one to use the product.

McKey has the prettiest face, but was a disaster.
Elina is too tight, doesn’t translate onscreen, lacks natural charm.
Joslyn keeps getting worse and worse.
Samantha is likable.
Sheena was expressive and fluid.
Marjorie’s awkwardness doesn’t work as well onscreen.
Annaleigh was perfect and fresh.

Paulina points out that none of them are good at both print and commercials.

The first photo is Annaleigh.
The bottom two are and Elina and Joslyn.

Elina did not translate well to moving pictures.
Joslyn started strong but has faltered since.

Joslyn is eliminated.

Fringe S1E6: The Cure

“This is upsetting because he’s the friendliest of fruits.”

Sorry for the late post; yesterday was … interesting. But on to this Fringe, where more questions abound. A girl in a diner emits radiation and melts everyone’s brains. Or something. It all leads back to a drug company called Intrepus, run by Digger from Gilmore Girls. Digger’s a bad dude, and in the end Olivia takes him down.

Olivia received a fairly ridiculous back-story in this episode. Apparently her dad used to beat up her mom, so finally a 9-year-old Olivia shot him. Twice. But he didn’t die, and every year on her birthday he sends her a card “just to remind her that he’s still out there.” Every year Olivia regrets that she didn’t finish the job. Really? Olivia regrets that her very young self didn’t kill a person? I find that rather hard to believe.

Meanwhile, Peter and Walter have fallen into a warm, comfortable routine (albeit one that involves Peter being occasionally driven crazy by nonstop humming). To stop Digger, he goes to Nina for help. She does help, but now he owes her a favor back. And she says something ominous about how she and Walter spent quite a bit of time together in their younger days. Now, on a show like this I take that as a subtle suggestion that Nina is possibly supposed to be Peter’s real mom. A similar insinuation was made on Alias, with the end result being that Sloane was not Sydney’s father even though he did have an affair with Irina. What will Fringe do with it?

Also, Olivia is supposed to be 28. For real?


HIMYM S4E5: Shelter Island

“Namaste here any longer than I have to.”

Finally, an end to the Stella-Ted storyline. The whole thing has felt rushed and awkward from the start, and anyone with half a brain knew Stella wasn’t the mother early on. This episode could have (should have) been excellent, but instead it was just ok.

Stella’s sister, who is also getting married but is beating them to the punch, steals Stella’s dream wedding. And when the sister gets ditched by her fiancé at the last minute, Ted and Stella have a “telepathic” conversation in which Stella decides they will take over the aborted wedding, and Ted decides they will buy the sister dinner. How could this possibly end well?

The moral of the story is: never invite an ex to your wedding. Robin, working in Japan, tries to avoid coming to the wedding but Ted wheedles until she relents. Barney decides this is the perfect chance for him to sleep with Robin again after getting her drunk and preying on her insecurity as a single, dateless female. However, he and the rest of the gang are horrified to arrive at the lodge and discover it is hippie haven, with no meat or alcohol allowed. Also, Stella’s newly single sexpot sister throws herself at him. Hard. There is no way Barney will be able to resist.

Stella gets angry when she learns that Robin is coming, and demands that Ted rescind the invitation. She goes on about how things are unresolved between them, it will bring up old feelings, blah blah blah. Meanwhile, Stella’s ex Tony refuses to bring their daughter Lucy to the wedding until Ted somehow convinces them both to come. Tony & Robin show up at the same time, and Stella is pissed.

“If I had done things differently, none of this would have happened.”

Stella offers an option: she will talk to Robin, and Ted will talk to Tony. There is a shutter-flash of what would have happened, with Father Ted telling two blonde children, “And that, kids, is how I met your mother” while Stella smiles in the background. But that’s not the way it goes. It never is.

Ted tells Robin about Stella’s “no exes at the wedding” rule and Robin sounds off. She is relieved. She’s not looking forward to watching him marry someone else. Ted doesn’t understand, because there is nothing between them. “Maybe there is!” Robin responds, then amends that. “Of course there is!” She has quit her job in Japan and wants to come back to her real life. It’s all very sweet, but then Robin ruins it by saying that she thought if someday she decided she did want to get married and have children, Ted would be there. “So I’m your backup school?” he asks. She asks Ted not to get married. Ted says it’s a good thing she won’t be at the wedding, and stalks off.

Sad Robin goes to Barney’s room with a contraband bottle of scotch, asking if she can stay with him. It would be Barney’s perfect dream come true … except he has another woman in his bed. Wearily, Robin leaves.

On the ferry back to the mainland, Robin sees Stella … we cut to Ted reading a note at the lodge … we cut back to the ferry and Tony walks up behind Stella, wrapping his arms around her while Robin looks on in shock. And this, folks, is where HIMYM took it just a little too far, and their tendency to do this is one thing that really bothers me.

If the final scene had been exactly as it was, without the stupid voiceovers of Stella repeating things she’d said earlier in the episode, it would have been perfect. As it was, the writers apparently felt the need to beat the ending like a dead horse: all those things Stella said about Ted & Robin not being over each other, she was really talking about herself and Tony. Yes, it was obvious! No need to reiterate it with lame voiceovers and soft-focus floating heads!


The Ex List S1E3: Protect and Serve

“My sister is a big sausage fan. ”

Bella gets robbed, and the cop who arrives on the scene is her ex-boyfriend Ronny. We flash back to Bella’s sophomore year of high school, when Ronny was just a young tuff. Her father, who is in the military, sends Bella away for the summer to keep them apart. Ronny doesn’t seem to care much. In the present, Bella is turned on by Ronny’s casually dismissive manner and sexy uniform. Ronny tells Bella’s landlord that the apartment isn’t up to fire code, so they can’t raise the rent. She is thrilled. I find it quite strange that all of Bella’s old boyfriends still live in town.

Throughout the episode, Augie is mildly jealous. I think under the surface he’s seething. He slyly tells Bella’s dad Jimmy to pretend to love Ronny so that he will therefore be less appealing to Bella. Jimmy does so, but it doesn’t have the intended consequence. Instead, Bella is offended that her father is treating her like she’s 15 years old. Everything goes great between Bella and Ronny until the day that Bella sees a neighboring store owner with a black eye. He had been irritating her as of late, and when she asks what happened he mutters, “Ask your boyfriend.” And the shit hits the fan when Bella realizes that this is what all those “favors” Ronny has mentioned are. She unceremoniously dumps him.

On the side, Vivian finally has a storyline that makes her somewhat likable. You see, Vivian is a high school history teacher, and some of her students hang out at “her” beach on the weekends. The boys stare, drooling, at their hot teacher lounging in a bikini. She ignores them. But then the principal receives a note claiming that Vivian is engaging in inappropriate behavior with these boys. In the end, it turns that a somewhat plain girl who likes one of the boys wrote the note. And the next time Vivian sees them at the beach, she wears a modest cover-up and lets the girl enjoy her time basking in a swimsuit and flirting with the boy.


Supernatural S4E5: Monster Movie

D: “Sam, I have been re-hymenated.”
S: “Even an angel couldn’t do that.”

To let SN fans rest after a couple episodes full of dramatic exposition and escalating familial strife, “Monster Movie” was pure, unadulterated tongue-in-cheek delight shot entirely in black & white and styled after the classic monster movies of the 1930s.

Sam and Dean head to a small Pennsylvania town to investigate claims that a vampire has killed there. Dean is thrilled to be back on an honest-to-goodness monster hunt. They end up smack-dab in the middle of Oktoberfest and meet Ed, who swears he saw a vampire with a Romanian accent and a cape gnawing on a woman in the park. Skeptical, the bros decide this is not their kind of case after all. But wait! A werewolf attacks a lover’s lane couple, and mummy attacks a security guard. Suddenly, the Winchesters aren’t sure what’s going on. As Sam puts it, “This is stupid.”

Meanwhile, Dean decides that because he returned from hell without any of his old scars, he is a virgin again. And he is determined to lose that virginity. He hits on a local barmaid named Jamie, who returns his flirtation. He tells her he’s a “maverick” and if that’s just a coincidence and NOT a John McCain joke, I’d be amazed.

In the end, the boys realize they’re dealing with a shape shifter after Dean comes face to face with Dracula and tears his ear off. And it turns out Jamie’s fellow barmaid Lucy is the shape shifter. After dressing Dean up like an extra in a production of Hansel & Gretel, Dracula explains that real life is messy, movies are elegant, and he wants an elegant life. Pizza is delivered, Sam saves his big brother, Jamie shoots Dracula in the back with silver bullets, Dean gets to have sex, and everyone lives happily ever after. The end.

Now. There were just two things in this cheeky little episode that actually seemed related to the overall story arc. First, while explaining to Jamie what he & Sam actually are, Dean admits that his duties had started to weigh on him but now he realizes it’s a gift, not a curse, and he’s on a mission from god. So apparently Dean is 100% on board with the god thing. Secondly, though it might have been done just to set up the “re-hymenation” joke, I find it interesting that Dean came out of hell with no scars, no wounds, no “messed up fingers from being broken so many times.” Is this a physical manifestation of being cleansed of original sin? Or I am reaching?


Fringe S1E5: Power Hungry

“You were hoping for something more specific, maybe?”

Fringe is getting consistently better week to week. Walter is fantastic as usual, Peter is subtly opening up, and even Olivia is improving. Last week I commented on her lack of personal life being a detriment, and this episode actually addressed that a bit, giving her some nice interactions with fellow agent Charlie and having her show actual emotion. Yay Fringe!

The story this week centered on Joe, a delivery guy who just happens to cause electronics to go on the fritz when he’s upset. While delivering a package in an office building, to a girl he has a crush on, he gets mad in the elevator and sends it plummeting to the basement, killing everyone on board. Except him. Oh, and we see The Observer just before the crash. Meanwhile, Olivia tells Charlie that she saw John. She knows it’s a hallucination. Charlie tells her to roll with it; it’s a manifestation of her guilt and confusion about everything that happened. Across town, Walter tells Peter the man who tortured him looked familiar. He is frustrated that he still can’t access parts of his mind. Peter gives him the sweetest look and says gently, “You’re doing fine.” Awwwww.

The continuity of this ep is all over the place. Peter, who was tortured in the last episode, is still all fucked up; they even put rope marks on his wrists. But Astrid, who refused Walter’s apology in the last episode, is all smiles now. Grrrr.

While examining the bodies in the elevator, Walter realizes they were all electrocuted before the elevator hit bottom. Back in the day, he worked on a project to make humans trackable to homing pigeons. Each human being has a unique electromagnetic signature, and the idea was to augment the field in order to track people. However (of course), it had dire consequences. Broyles tells Olivia about Jacob Fischer, a biotechnology expert wanted in several states who lured in subjects via “the kind of commercials you see on TV at 3 AM” and then performed unspeakable tests on them.

I’m still not so sure Broyles is a good guy.

While Olivia is reading up on Fischer, the lights go out. I know I compare Fringe to Alias too much, but I wouldn’t mind if the show gave the impression that Olivia could actually defend herself without a gun. She seems sort of … weak. Anyway, she sees John again. He is reassuring, asks her to trust him, and says he truly loved her. Past tense. Interesting. John says she is on the right track and that soon he will prove that he loved her. It’s kind of creepy. He gets into an elevator and it actually moves, going down. Olivia races down the stairs, but when the doors open the car is empty.

However, Olivia sees the “maximum capacity” sign and does some research. She goes to see Peter, explaining that someone walked away from the elevator crash while Walter does a weird little dance in the background. Suddenly, Walter shocks Peter. Cute! His dance was to create electromagnetism. Meanwhile, Fischer tracks Joe down, takes him to a lab, and does things that make him scream his head off. After searching Joe’s apartment, Walter uses a cassette tape that Joe touched, which then became magnetized, to show pigeons how to track him. It sounds stupid, but it was actually kind of fun. Olivia is concerned about the pigeons’ welfare. Peter says, “We’re putting GPS chips on pigeons to track a man who can control electricity. This is your fault, right?” They’re so adorable.

Moments later, Olivia sees John again. He moves inhumanly fast but he kisses her, and that kiss seems real. He says, “I didn’t betray you, I wasn’t the one.” Peter interrupts and John disappears. Peter saw nothing. They follow the pigeons to a warehouse, and Olivia asks if Peter will have more faith in Walter if the scheme works. Peter says no. But he totally means yes. They save Joe, who just wants to go home, but he has to be tested and whatnot.

In the end, Walter tells Olivia she doesn’t seem herself. He knows she’s been seeing John. When she was in the tank, part of John’s consciousness crossed over and this is her brain’s way of working through it. But moments later, Olivia sees John again out on the street and follows him to an underground lair full of boxes and files. It turns out John was conducting his own investigations into the Pattern. And (so cliché) Olivia finds an engagement ring among John’s belongings.

Hmmm. Is Olivia’s mind really just working through something, as Walter & Charlie said (albeit for different reasons)? Or does this have something to do with Massive Dynamic? Since they have John’s body it would be a pretty huge coincidence if it didn’t. And speaking of MD, where the hell has Nina been? She and Olivia had that loaded “everything we do leads us to each other” conversation … and then suddenly it doesn’t anymore? And finally, am I going to have to wait until the season finale to hear Peter call Walter “dad”? I think so.


HIMYM S4E4: Intervention

Fate decided that I would not watch HIMYM last night and I cannot handle watching it online again, so I make apologies and direct you to a number of other wonderful recaps instead…

TV Squad

Give Me My Remote



The Ex List S1E2: Climb Every Mountain Biker

“My mad skills are too much for the spaghetti strap to handle.”

Ah ha! We learn in the opening that Bella lives alone, while Cyrus, Augie, and Vivian live together, next door. This is only slightly better than all of them living together. During the gang’s traditional “stuffing our faces at an outdoor café while a marathon is going on” (I could hang with these folks), Bella runs into ex-flame Jake, a couch-potato-turned-athlete. In the flashback, we see that once Jake landed a 23-year-old punk rock Bella, he never wanted to leave the house. Or, as he says, “The only reason people go out in the first place is to find someone to have sex with while they watch TV.” He has already got that, so why go out?

Bella’s flower shop is called Bloom. How original. Daphne and her fiancé make a pact to not have sex before the wedding, so she moves in with Bella. Meanwhile, after googling a hot ex-girlfriend and being horrified at how she’s turned out, Cyrus creates the drinking game “Google Ex Smackdown.” Augie gets waaasted, while everyone else is barely buzzed.

Jake takes Bella on a series of athletic dates – ultimate frisbee on the beach, mountain biking, rock-climbing gym, kayaking. She finally convinces him to take her to a bar, but even then they end up playing Trivia Olympics. All this time, Bella is still watching Tommy Anzide’s cat and having regular run-ins with Elliott. And one night, the cat escapes through the bathroom window. While wandering the neighborhood looking for him, Bella discovers Elliott half-naked at a blonde stranger’s house. How big is this town, anyway?

Bella forces Jake to talk to her, explaining that their dating life thus far has been “like camp without the kissing and alcohol.” They finally sleep together, but afterward it gets super awkward when he starts talking about his ex. Like, immediately afterward. It’s really uncomfortable. And then we’re off. Suddenly all Jake talks about is his ex. Bella can’t stand it, and eventually dumps him. In the end, she is talking to Daphne about the situation and says that the right guy is the right guy. And Elliott knocks on the door.

Now. Although I thought from the pilot that Elliott was to be Bella’s soul mate, somewhere in the back of my mind I also thought that was just way too obvious. After this episode, I’m wondering what the chances are that Bella’s soulmate could be … Augie. Their interactions in this episode, combined with Vivian’s description of her relationship with Augie, just really struck me. I know that would cause all sorts of issues seeing as Vivian and Augie are two of Bella’s best friends but … I don’t know. I guess we don’t know if they have dated, but I can totally see it happening. What do you think? Am I crazy?


Supernatural S4E4: Metamorphosis

“If I didn’t know you, I would hunt you.”

“Metamorphosis” was chock-full of the brotherly strife, and you know how I love that. However, it was also WAY too heavy handed with the parallels between the MOTW and “I’ve-got-demon-blood-in-me”-Sam, which therefore lessened its appeal.

We open with Sam & Ruby interrogating a demon, who taunts Sam about the fact that he’s sleeping with a demon. What is this kid thinking? I can only imagine that human-demon sex has dire consequences. Dean busts up the party, and the brothers fight. Not just with words, but with fists. Awesome! Dean learns that Sam has known about the fact that the YED bled into his mouth for a year, but has kept it from him. The boys are not happy with each other.

Meanwhile, a guy named Jack (who looks like Data from Star Trek) is really hungry. Hunter & family friend Travis calls the brothers for help. He tells them John would be proud of them for sticking together. He also tells them Jack is a “rougaru,” a creature that is human until age 30. At that point, he begins to change into a monster. Once the rougaru takes his first bite of human flesh, it’s all downhill from there. Sam does some research and learns there are rougaru who have resisted the change. Travis and Dean don’t buy it.

The scenes involving Travis are interesting because 99% of the shots cut off some portion of his face. My dim memory of college film class tells me that this is done on purpose, to subtly convey the possibility of Travis’ sinister nature. It’s kind of distracting, though.

Sam and Dean fight some more. Sam is mad that Dean treats him as if he doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong. Dean asks if he does know the difference. Poor little Sammy has demon blood in him and he can’t get clean. All he can do is try to make something good come of it, so he uses his powers to exorcise demons.

The brothers tell Jack what he will become, and try to convince him to fight it. That night, Jack manages to not kill a woman. Yay Jack! However, Travis tricks him by breaking into his house and tying his wife Michelle up. When Jack arrives, Travis gets him too. And it turns out Michelle is pregnant. Travis won’t allow another rougaru to be born into the world. Jack summons super-strength to break his bonds, and rips Travis’ throat out. But he’s not all gone, because he allows Michelle to escape. The rougaru line lives on!

When the brothers arrive, Jack attacks. Sam tries to talk sense into him, saying that it’s not what you are, it’s what you do. But it’s too late, and Sam is forced to kill the poor man. Later, he tells Dean that he’s done using his powers. Dean thanks him, but Sam says he’s not doing it for his brother. He’s doing it for himself. It would be so amazing if the brothers actually had to go up against each other in the end. Every season I’ve been hoping that’s where the show will go (he thinks so too) and perhaps we’re finally right. I envision some incredible battle between good and evil, with Dean on one side and Sam on the other. Wouldn’t that be freaking awesome?!?!


ANTM Cycle 11: The Fiercies Edition

Elina and Samantha both grew up with very controlling parents. There is a lot of talk this cycle about how Europeans don’t show any emotion. Interesting. Annaleigh is concerned that she can’t find her niche. Elina is very critical of the other girls, which is funny since she’s consistently slipping in the judging room. The girls chat about how Lauren Brie has no personality; she’s “translucent.”

The girls go to a photo studio, where they find Tyra modeling. She teaches them about the “signature pose.” They get 10 shots on their own, and then they get to look at the monitor and get 10 more shots with Tyra directing them. The winner is Marjorie, who takes her awkwardness and turns it into “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” She and a friend get diamonds, and she chooses Annaleigh.

At the Orpheum Theater, the girls have to act out embarrassing moments that happen at awards shows with photographer Mike Rosenthal. It’s kind of a weird theme, and Marjorie gets a stupid version of it for the second week in a row.

Sheena: Girl Whose Dress Was Stepped On
Concerned about being “hoochie,” she reeled it in way too much. She doesn’t look pretty.

Elina: Overemotional Crier
Jay really pulls it out of her, and she sobs. He says it’s the best she’s done yet.

Marjorie: Has To Pee In A Too-Tight Dress
Both Jay and Mike love her, she used her lesson with Tyra and “turned it OUT!”

Annaleigh: Reporter With Attitude
Jay loves it, Mike says she “does bitchy really well.”

Lauren Brie: Trips While Getting Award
She looks like a movie star but is stiff like a mannequin.

McKey: Thought She Had Award In The Bag, But Lost
Jay says she’s “kinda cute.”

Samantha: Can’t Read Cue Cards Because Spotlight Is In Her Eyes
She’s too fake, her pose is terrible.

Joslyn: Sees Someone Else Wearing The Same Dress
At first she’s too posey, but later she uses her Tyra teachings and nails it.

Sheena is good but her eyes aren’t right, her body is good but not mind-blowing.
Elina didn’t get it right, not emotional, too steely.
Marjorie got an extraordinary pose yet her face is relaxed, used her teach, incredible.
Annaleigh impressed Mike, has a great face and body.
Lauren Brie doesn’t look like she’s falling, didn’t let go enough.
McKey is beautiful, her best photo, she’s really coming out.
Samantha doesn’t excite the judges, she looks sad, didn’t get the theme right.
Joslyn took her prettiest shot yet, has a great profile.

Sheena has gone downhill, Paulina doesn’t think she has what it takes.
Elina is exquisite but didn’t do the job.
Marjorie was Mike’s favorite, Tyra “j’adores” her photo.
Annaleigh is consistently improving, she did a great job.
Lauren Brie has a strong face but a terrible photo, she’s been coasting.
McKey is full of potential but Mike said it was like pulling teeth to get her shot.
Samantha did poorly, her photo is boring.
Joslyn looks beautiful, it’s her prettiest shot.

The first photo is Marjorie.
The bottom two are Lauren Brie and Sheena.

Lauren Brie is “gorgeously alienesque” but lacks personality.
Sheena has a shining, inspiring personality but is too sexy.

Lauren Brie is eliminated. In her exit interview, she says she gave up at the end.

If Marjorie can overcome her weird negativity, she will own this competition. I’m still shocked that McKey has made it this far. Sheena too, for that matter. Elina had a rough time this week – she finally let go only to have the judges tell her it wasn’t enough. Annaleigh is really improving, and Joslyn is kind of a non-entity. Oddly enough, she didn’t appear in the house scenes at all.


90210 S1E7: Hollywood Forever

“I also like tacos, welcome to school.”

The problem with being a highly organized blogger is that when you stock up on promo photos in advance, you have to deal with the fact that you are going to ruin surprises. But anyway, 90210 FINALLY stepped it up a notch this week. There was drama, there was intrigue, there was death and dismemberment. It was a marked improvement.

First: the Naomi/Adriana story. Adriana is now a full-blown cocaine addict. Naomi, who used to “dabble” in coke, recognizes the signs and offers to help. But Principal Harry has called the fuzz, and cops burst onto the scene to search everyone’s lockers. In a moment of pure stupidity, Naomi takes the coke from Adriana and runs, only to get caught flushing it down the toilet. She later explains that she assumed her daddy could buy her way out of it. Not so. As the episode continues and Naomi realizes the amount of shit she’s in, she begs Adriana to fess up. Ade agrees to meet Naomi and her parents at the lawyer’s office. Bitch please! I can’t believe Naomi fell for that. Naturally Adriana doesn’t show, and as the episode comes to a close we see an unconscious Adriana surrounded by paramedics as Naomi simultaneously leaves a furious message saying that Adriana is dead to her. Next episode: bring on the guilt!

Second: the Ryan/Kimberly story. New student Kimberly arrives at West Beverly, and she is sassy and cute. (She’s also Sue from Life As We Know It). And I know that she’s a brat in class, but Ryan is shockingly rude to her considering that he’s a teacher. She flirts with him, and though they have the same personality and make the same jokes, he shuts her down hard because, you know, he’s an adult and she’s not. But surprise! Kimberly is an undercover cop involved with the sting Harry has arranged (which, coincidentally, Ryan doesn’t believe in, and fights Harry on). Interesting developments could be afoot…

Third: the Dixon/Silver story. It’s Silver’s half-birthday, so she invites a bunch of people to a showing of Psycho at the Hollywood Forever cemetery. Dixon doesn’t like horror movies. Silver invites him over for “something he’s never done before.” And, side note, she’s painting the interior walls of the house black. Kelly’s gonna be pissed! Anyway, the “something” is “watching a horror movie marathon” and when Dixon falls asleep Silver gets upset, all “I tried to share something I love with you and you were a dick about it.” Blah. They make up. This storyline did give Dixon a chance for some amusing lines, though, which beefed up his character a bit.

Fourth: the Annie/Ethan story. Seven episodes, and I’m already over it. Annie and Ethan are paired together on the requisite “take care of a mechanical baby in health class” storyline. They go to the movie with Silver and Dixon, each assuring the other that it’s not a date. Finally, after a bunch of hemming and hawing, Ethan says it can’t be a date because he wouldn’t… and leans over to kiss her. They get within a ½ inch of each other before a scary movie moment causes the audience to shriek and they spring apart. I would prefer a little more buildup to them getting together. Where is the angst?

Fifth: the Harry/Debbie/Tracy story. Tracy has hired a private investigator to find their son. And she kisses Harry, who is horrified. The end.

This episode had some great little moments, but I think my favorite was when Annie finds her computerized baby crying in the bathroom corner, where she has left it. Debbie says, “Nobody puts baby in a corner,” and she and Harry giggle like children. Annie and Dixon stare at them blankly. It was one of the moments that could have been terrible had the children laughed too. As it was, it was pretty cute.


HIMYM S4E3: I Heart NJ

“No snakes on that plane.”

Ted lives in New York, Stella lives in New Jersey. He feels like he spends all of his time on the train, so he invites his buddies to hang in NJ one night even though they all hate NJ – and Ted hates it most of all. Once there, he is horrified to learn that Stella expects him to move in with her once they’re married. Ted is totally immature and is SO not ready to get married. How could he possibly expect Stella to move in with him? As she points out, she has a house in NJ, her kid’s school is in NJ, her kid’s friends are in NJ, her family is in NJ, etc etc etc. They get into a big fight about it, but then he runs into her daughter, who asks him to read her a story. And naturally she woos him, and he decides to move to NJ after all.

Whatever. I’m a Sarah Chalke fan, but the Ted-Stella relationship just doesn’t work. As I said before, Ted is so immature and petty that I can’t believe Stella would actually agree to marry him. The whole proposal storyline came on way too fast – obviously on purpose, as evidenced by the “Do I Know You” episode. We are meant to believe that every event in Ted’s life eventually leads to the mother, so obviously there is a reason for all of this…I’m just getting tired of waiting.

Meanwhile, Robin quits her job at Metro News One after getting the national anchor job. Only it turns out she didn’t get the job – she got an audition. Desperate, she begs for her old job back even though Lily and Barney try to convince her she’s better than Metro News One. She goes through a bunch of rigamarole to get her job back, but then ends up quitting on air, for good. And then, in the least surprising twist ever, Robin doesn’t get the national anchor job…she gets a job as a foreign correspondent, which means she’s moving to Japan.

On a related note – there is a promo photo out there that shows Stella punching Barney, and it was touted as being related to this episode. Obviously not. Hmmmm….


The Ex List S1E1: Pilot

“I wanna get tattoos together and drink each other’s blood.”

I thought this show sounded cute from the start, but after trying to explain its premise to several people I felt like an idiot. And I almost didn’t watch it last night, but I’m glad that I did. It wasn’t the best pilot I’ve ever seen, and it’s not the kind of show I will purposely stay home on Friday nights to watch. But, I have to tell you that The Ex List is really funny.

A 9 pm timeslot on Friday evenings will surely murder this show, which is a shame. It centers on Bella, who takes her sister’s bachelorette party to a psychic for kicks…only the psychic tells Bella that if she doesn’t get married within a year, she will be a spinster forever. (She also makes several other uncanny predictions that eventually cause Bella to believe her). The catch is, Bella has already dated and dumped her soul mate.

Enter Elliot, who has amazing abs and seems likely to be Bella’s true soul mate. They are recently separated because he doesn’t believe in marriage and she’s tired of waiting around for him. This is the only reason given for their breakup, so obvs they’re perfect together. Bella is also surrounded by a wacky group of friends. The only thing that keeps me from identifying with these people more (besides Bella’s exceptionally skimpy outfits) is that this group of four 30-somethings all appear to live together. Which is pretty damn strange (although kind of like Friends, now that I think of it).

We have Augie and Vivian, a couple. Augie has been Bella’s best friend for 15 years. In the pilot, Vivian goes in for public hair maintenance and ends up completely bare. Augie won’t have sex with her because she looks like a 10-year-old, so she gets a merkin, which is a vaginal toupee. All of this is kind of odd, especially for a pilot, but it worked out to be pretty amusing. Perhaps the best part was Augie trying to explain the appeal of pubic hair: “It’s like, hey look over here! There’s something really cool over here. But it’s SO cool, we can’t show it to you.” Other characters include unemployed sarcastic roommate Cyrus, and Bella’s super-peppy sister Daphne. I couldn’t figure out why I recognized Vivian, and it was driving me nuts. Her resume includes a whole slew of shows that I have watched, so I still can’t figure it out. Can anyone help?

The first boyfriend Bella reconnects with is sensitive musician Johnny, who we see in a hilarious flashback telling her he wants to get tattoos and drink each other’s blood. But The Ex List subverts expectations (at least mine) by casting Eric Balfour as Johnny. It’s just so different from anything else I’ve ever seen him do, and that made it all the funnier. Anyway, in the present Johnny has turned into a super-hot eyelinered-and-tattooed rock star whose #1 hit, “Bitch,” is all about how Bella broke his heart. Naturally, Bella is instantly attracted to him. As Cyrus puts it, “He doesn’t like you anymore and it happened at the same time that he became more appealing to you. How weird.”

Bella & Johnny reignite their relationship, but Johnny turns needy pretty quickly. She tries turning the tables on him to make him dump her, but he puts up with all of her crap and she realizes maybe he is the one. Joke’s on her, though. It turns out that Johnny has orchestrated the entire thing to get revenge…which turns out to be the name of his next big hit. And he humiliates Bella by dedicating it to her in a crowded club.

In the end, Bella answers an ad for a lost cat and the owner turns out to be another ex. And the previews for next week look promising, with Bella reconnecting with an extremely active ex about whom she says, “He never stops moving. It’s like dating the bus from Speed.” Hilarious!


Supernatural S4E3: In the Beginning

“Sammy, wherever you are, mom’s a babe. I’m going to hell…again.”

Holy shit, guys. I know I’ve said this before, but I think this was the best episode of SN, ever. It answered so many questions, and brought nearly every major plot point of the show so far into one big, beautiful package. Holy shit!

As we open, Sam leaves a sleeping Dean in their hotel room to meet Ruby. “You ready?” she asks. “Definitely,” Sam replies. Dean, who is in a terribly uncomfortable-looking sleeping position, awakes to find Castiel, who tells him to “stop it.” Suddenly, he awakes on a bus bench. It doesn’t take long to discover that he’s in 1973, and that young man he runs into? John Winchester!

And then he meets Mary…who is a hunter! And so are her parents! Dean’s grandparents are hunters! And Grandpa Samuel (played by Mitch Pileggi!) refers to it as “the family business”! Dean asks his mom what John is like, and she says he is sweet and kind, he believes in happily ever after, he’s everything a hunter isn’t. She wants out of the hunter’s life because she wants to marry John, and the worst thing she can imagine is her children being brought up as hunters. Dean warns his mother not to get out of bed on that fateful night in 1983. Too bad that doesn’t work. I never doubted Jensen Ackles’ talent, but in this episode he blew me away.

Dean crosses paths with the Yellow-Eyed Demon, who is making shady deals that will come to a head in 10 years. Dean is determined to kill him, even though Castiel warns that if he changes the future, all the innocents the Winchesters have saved will die. Dean gets the Colt from a young Daniel, and goes after the YED. Mary and Samuel reluctantly join the charge, and Mary ends up fighting the YED, who tells her he “loves her spunk” before escaping. While Mary begs John to take her away, Dean tells Samuel the truth about what will happen in the future … but Samuel is the YED! He kills Dean’s grandma and stabs himself in the gut, all the while chatting happily. “Are you one of my psychic kids?” he asks. Turns out he’s attempting to breed certain individuals together and has taken a liking to Mary … but not to “that slug” she’s going to marry. Interesting. Is this why only Sam is special? Because John’s blood somehow tainted the pool? Before Dean can even catch a breath, the YED reveals that his endgame is much, much bigger than the creation of a demon army.

Samuel then goes after Mary and John. He kills John, and of course Mary makes a deal to get him back. HOLY SHIT! Poor Mary is responsible for everything this family has gone through. And the worst part is, she knew what she was doing. The YED says he’ll be back in 10 years, and as long as he isn’t disturbed no one will be hurt. First Dean warns her to stay in bed. Then the YED tells her not to interrupt him. Mary is one stubborn lady. A devastated Dean shows up moments later to find a dead grandpa, newly reanimated dad, and sobbing mom. Now he’s going to be even MORE fucked up.

When Dean awakes back in the future, Castiel tells him he couldn’t have stopped the events because destiny can’t be changed. They needed him to know everything they know. Castiel gestures to Sam’s empty bed and admits they still don’t know the YED’s endgame. Sam is headed down a dangerous road, and if Dean doesn’t stop him, they will.

HOLY SHIT! I cannot believe the fountain of goodness that erupted from my TV tonight. The truth about why the YED attacked the Winchesters, revealed! Mary’s vaguely-hinted-at strange past, revealed! The origin of the Impala, revealed! Sam’s slow slide to the dark side, returned! I always thought that storyline died too early a death. The episode ended with a “to be continued,” although the preview for next week’s ep didn’t look like much of a continuation. What will happen? I can’t wait to find out!


ANTM Cycle 11: You're a Disaster Edition

Samantha is determined to think positive after receiving scathing remarks from designer Jeremy Scott last week. Marjorie doesn’t understand the whole “positive mantra” idea and thinks it must be a cultural difference. She continues to be negative and tear herself down. Eventually, she and Sam get into a fight. Meanwhile, Joslyn is frustrated with herself because she is slipping week to week. Clark and Lauren Brie whisper in bed together. Those girls have become awfully close.

The girls go to a warehouse, where Paulina appears in an ill-fitting outfit. She explains that much of a model’s work is catalog, where the clothes don’t fit and the models have to make it work. I would think that would be the stylist’s responsibility, but whatever. It’s still a good lesson. The girls are each outfitted with too-big clothes and a tool belt filled with clips, bottles, rubber bands, shoulder pads, and other odds and ends. When Paulina judges them, Marjorie loses it. Paulina asks if she’s going to throw up, and the other girls jump to her defense, saying it’s just nerves. Paulina then talks about how in Europe, it is socially acceptable to have a negative attitude. It’s kind of weird. I lived in England for a year and I don’t really remember people being super negative. Anway, McKey wins and gets 50 extra frames for the next shoot.

The girls pose as “L.A. natural disasters,” which gives the stylists a lot of license (I mean come on, traffic jam?) During the shoot, Jay is kind to Sheena, Annaleigh, McKey (he said she didn’t even need the extra frames!), and Samantha (“she really thought about it.”) He is less kind to Elina, Clark, Lauren Brie (!!!), Joslyn, and Marjorie (he literally had to pose her like a doll).

Marjorie took a great pic, it works but she needs to take more chances.
Sheena is wearing a bad outfit to panel, Nigel loves her photo, good energy.
Elina had a good face, is the definition of “ugly pretty.”
Annaleigh is cute, great pose, fun, need to do something “extra” with her eyes.
McKey needs to remember her themes but Tyra loved her photo.
Samantha has a great body, great face, well done.
Clark wasn’t right at all, didn’t think about her pose, took it too literally.
Lauren Brie was too posey and stiff, needs to step it up.
Joslyn is slipping, has no energy, is a mess.

Marjorie has improved in person, her photos are consistently great.
Samantha is a ham, but a cute ham.
Sheena has personality and spice. I think Nigel has a little crush on her.
Annaleigh is great to some judges but then they say she’s not photogenic (???)
McKey is…I don’t know, because they joked around instead of talking about her.
Lauren Brie’s photo is way to cheesy.
Clark is mediocre and took a terrible photo this week.
Elina can do so much more if she just LETS GO!
Joslyn has potential, but the judges are confused as to what has happened to her spark.

The first photo is Samantha (Deservingly. All that water movement you see in that photo up there? She did all of that with her arms & legs, and still managed to get a hot pose).
The bottom two are Clark and Joslyn.

Clark started ok, got stronger, and is good but not fantastic.
Joslyn started strong but has drizzled away since.

Clark is eliminated.

Hallelujah! I haven’t liked Clark from the start. I don’t necessarily disagree with any of the cuts so far (except maybe Isis) but I am, regardless, shocked that McKey is still in the competition. I guess I just don’t get it. It was way disappointing to see Lauren Brie fail so miserably this week – and at the point in the competition when glittering past performance starts to matter less and less. Marjorie is going to go nuts and axe-murder everyone soon enough. And Elina is killing herself week by week. Although the end result this week was stunning, her lackluster performance during the past two shoots has been disheartening.


Fringe S2E4: The Arrival

“Morning! Morning!”

We meet a new character tonight, a creepy bald guy whose eating habits reminded me (embarrassingly) of Roswell – in the first scene he eats a roast beef sandwich smothered in pepper, Tabasco sauce, and jalapenos. My kind of man.

On to Peter & Walter, still the most intriguing part of the show. Peter continues to be irritated by his father’s idiosyncrasies. Walter continues to keep Peter up all night by reciting the chemical compounds of root beer. Peter wants out, and tells Olivia as much. This will be his last case, even though she tries to sway him by admitting that Walter will not cooperate without Peter by his side. Walter tells Peter (again) that he is squandering his intelligence and his education. I loved Walter’s overeager “Morning!” to everyone at the base. Was that because he drank too much homemade root beer? He tells Peter to open his mind or someone else will open it for him. Surprisingly threatening, for Walter. And telling, considering what’s about to happen.

This week the gang finds a glowing cylinder that Walter recognizes, but remains silent about. Olivia gets a static-filled late-night phone call from John Scott, but when she tries to trace it there is no record of any call. Broyles reveals a man they call “The Observer,” who is the aforementioned bald guy and appears in a series of crime scene photos from the site of every weird happening connected with the pattern. The Observer has been documented at three dozen scenes. Oh, and some other weird guy is going around town killing people with a gun that blasts energy rays.

Walter becomes increasingly agitated, and refuses to talk about the cylinder. He’s not so sweet and dopey anymore. After screaming at Peter and stabbing Astrid with a syringe, Walter meets with The Observer, who thanks him for hiding the beacon and says he’ll have answers soon. Once the government tracks Walter down, they take him into custody. A furious Walter tells Peter not to be like his mother, always questioning his judgment. I am really curious to find out what the deal is there. But anyway, that’s the last straw, and Peter walks out. He calls someone and asks for work, and right then the Energy Killer appears. Look behind you Pacey!

The Energy Killer tortures Peter to find out where Walter hid the cylinder. There was a lot of dramatic buildup to this – Walter saying cryptic things about Peter intuitively knowing where the thing is, mixed with Peter begging for his life – all with a rather disappointing outcome. Energy Killer uses some weird device to read Peter’s mind, and takes him back to a time when his family was happy. He then finds out about Walter’s many hiding places, and thus discovers where the cylinder is. Isn’t this basically regression therapy? It doesn’t have some “fringe” explanation, like Walter and Peter’s minds bring connected.

In the end, Olivia shoots the Energy Killer in the back. The cylinder explodes, and then vanishes. The Observer appears before Peter, reads his mind, and then shoots him. Peter crumples to the ground.

But after the commercial, we see that he’s fine. Walter apologizes to Astrid for the whole syringe gaffe, but she won’t make eye contact. Peter is now a believer, and willing to do anything for the cause. More importantly, he finally has some sympathy for his father. Walter tells Peter a rambling story about how they were in a car accident when Peter was young, and they were on the verge of death when The Observer rescued them. He read Walter’s mind just as he did Peter’s, and Walter knew that one day he would be called upon to return the favor. Today was that day.

At the same time, Olivia goes home to an empty fridge. She gets slightly better each week but she still doesn’t have much of a personality. One thing that might help is if we saw more of Olivia in her off time (a la Sydney and her friends), but at the same time I’m starting to get the impression that the writers are keeping her a blank slate on purpose. Anyway, she eats dry cereal and whiskey for dinner, and when she looks up John Scott is standing before her. WTF?!?!

90210 S1E6: Model Behavior

“This isn’t The Parent Trap, Naomi.”

I read online that Dylan was supposed to make a surprise appearance tonight. He did not. And even though this show is so boring, I can’t stop watching it. Either the CW is doing something right, or I’m a masochist.

This week’s episode centers on a fashion show. What is with the ubiquity of the TV fashion show? My So-Called Life, The OC, Gilmore Girls, the list goes on and on. I personally have never gone to a school that hosted a fashion show. Am I sheltered?

Anyway, here’s the poop: Adriana won’t admit she has a drug problem. Annie tells Ty to never speak to her again. I guess Debbie suddenly has a job, because she’s working for a photographer. His assistant backs out of shooting the aforementioned fashion show, so Debbie begs for a shot. (Ha, “shot” get it?) Meanwhile, Dixon and Silver are blissful and making out in public. Navid is irritated. Annie somehow agrees to let Adriana help her assist during the fashion show, and then does several nice things for her during the course of the night (“because unlike you, I’m actually a nice person”). Adriana feels bad, and admits that she didn’t sleep with Ty. But then Adriana decides that Annie is a narc for her dad, and pushes her around (literally) before storming out of the party. Annie and Ty make up, but she tells him she just wants to be friends because she’s not ready for sex. I guess chaste dating is impossible in BH.

Meanwhile, Dylan calls Brenda from Wyoming. He wants to be with Kelly and Sammy, but not in Beverly Hills. But why, sage Ryan asks, did he call Brenda if he wanted to talk to you? Kelly accuses Brenda of going after Dylan. They argue, they make up, and later Brenda tearfully deletes Dylan’s number from her cell phone. Then she meets up with Ryan, whom Kelly has dumped. He hits on Brenda, and she goes with it. Snap!

Check out those hideous shoes! Naomi tries to get her parents back together. She fails, and then she and Ethan break up “for good this time.” If he and Annie get together immediately I’m gonna be pissed. Kelly goes to visit Dylan for two weeks and agrees to let Silver stay at her house alone. That seems like a bad idea. Adriana gets a new drug dealer, and the show ends with him welcoming her “to the big leagues.” Good grief.

One of the many problems with this show is the lack of a geek. At first I thought that was Navid’s role, but after he appears at the fashion show and three models descend on him within three seconds, I have to admit that I’m wrong. Everyone on this show is attractive and popular and desirable…and they all know it. I no longer trust the CW’s promotion of 90210, but having said that next week’s ep looks mildly promising, featuring Naomi getting arrested after taking the fall for Adriana, and someone yelling “She’s not even breathing!” Hmph. We’ll see.