Gossip Girl: Desperately Seeking Serena

Gossip Girl – Desperately Seeking Serena
As panic sets in for the juniors preparing to take their SATs, Serena has the added stress of dealing with the return of Georgina Sparks, someone from her bad-girl past. Meanwhile, Jenny decides to get a boyfriend, thinking this will elevate her social status.

The biggest news from this SAT-themed episode is the budding romance between Nate and Vanessa. I was never a fan of the Dan/Vanessa romance. They were both too nerdy and it just seemed too easy. I am loving the Nate/Vanessa love connection! One of the best moments was when Nate took Vanessa on a surprise morning date to the SAT test site. Budding filmmaker Vanessa felt that she didn't need college and therefore decided to not take the test. Nate encouraged her to consider her options and take the test anyway. He even gave her some fresh pencils for the test. Awwwww…

This mysterious Georgina character is back in Serena's life. She is apparently a manipulative drunk who is total bad news. She has some huge dirt on Serena and her reappearance in Serena's life causes a rift in her relationship with Dan. Instead of confiding in him she turns to her creepy new brother Chuck. Trouble is definitely brewing in Dan/Serena land.



Jenny decides to get a boyfriend to help her standing with the richies. So of course she needs to find a rich boyfriend. When scouting the streets for her new beau she bumps into a cute dude walking dogs. This guy doesn't meet her standards since she is looking for a “king, not a court jester.” He gives her his number anyway and when Jenny sees him later getting out of a fancy car she decides that it could work out.

She is grounded due to last week’s dress theft scandal, therefore Rufus won’t let her make a date with dog boy (a.k.a. Asher). Never being one to follow the rules, Jenny makes a lunch date anyway and when Rufus finds out he gets hella pissed and makes her cancel. Asher ends up bringing hot dogs over to the Brooklyn loft to surprise her.

The episode leaves us with Georgina running into Dan in Central Park (meeting him for the first time). She gives him a fake name. That girl is up to no good! We also learn that next week, we are going to find out the secret Georgina is holding over Serena, and someone will be dropping the “gay bomb.” I'm not sure who is going to come out of the closet. I would like to think it is Chuck since he was wearing the most fabulous red trench coat all episode, but my bet is on Serena's brother Eric.

Hey, hi, how are you, I brought you a juice box.

Reaper – Coming to Grips
Andi sees Sam behead a demon and thinks he’s killed someone, so Sam makes a deal with the devil. Meanwhile, Ben gets married under unusual circumstances, and Tony reappears in his true demon form. This episode was chock-full of guest stars, and packed a ton of plot into less than an hour.

Something sinister flies through Seattle. In Sam’s apartment, he tells Andi over the phone that their date is on schedule. Moments later, in full demon form, Tony attacks Sam, asking why he betrayed them. Sam says the devil tricked him. Tony apologizes, and then helps Sam cook for Andi. This show is becoming very Buffy-esque, especially when Demon Tony says that Bon Appetit magazine is the only thing that keeps him sane. Tony plans to rebuild his army and conquer the devil. Right then Andi shows up and overhears part of their conversation, but when she walks in Tony vanishes.

Sock and Josie are back together. Uck. Ben is sad that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. But he has a list of what he wants in the perfect girl, and he’s aiming way too high.

This week’s soul, Jack, works at a sperm bank and uses his own sperm to impregnate all the women. It’s Javier from Felicity (Ian Gomez)! Since last week the souls are suddenly mingling with the living, which I don’t really get. This week’s vessel is a scythe. Andi sees Sock and Sam playing with it, and then becomes curious when Sam cancels their lunch date. She follows him and sees him chop off Jack’s head.

Again, Reaper departs from the same old formula. But the more I read, the more I am certain it’s too little, too late. After the commercial break, a headless Jack stands up and starts swinging at the boys. Sam stabs him with the scythe, which takes him back to hell. But Jack’s hand remains behind, and apparently this soul can regenerate. Lucy Davis (Dawn on The Office UK), plays Sara, an employee of the Work Bench. It seems that she likes Ben, and she tells him his standards are not too high and he should keep looking for the perfect girl. She points out that she has none of the qualities on the list, and Ben gives his best puppy-dog look. Perhaps he just might like her back regardless!

Andi punches Sam in the face the next time she sees him, and threatens to call the cops. He begs her to give him 24 hours to explain. Sam puts a note for the devil on the vessel and Gladys kind of makes fun of him for it. Sam tells the devil about the Andi situation, and the devil yells at him for being sloppy. Sam says he can make Andi keep his secret, and the devil says ok but that one day he’ll need a favor. A big, terrible favor. Because he’s an idiot, Sam makes a deal with the devil. Hasn’t this kid learned anything yet?

The next morning, Sara walks out of Ben’s room while the boys are eating breakfast. Ben tells Sock & Sam that he married her because she needed a green card. Later, Sam tells Andi that he’s a bounty hunter for the devil. Naturally, she walks out on him. Not shockingly, the devil knew full well that Andi wouldn’t believe Sam, and suddenly he gets all scary-quiet-angry and says he will take care of Andi if Sam doesn’t.

Sam is desperate to track Andi down but she won’t answer her phone. Sock and Ben tell him to relax because they have kidnapped her and locked her in the trunk of his car. Sam gets into the car and folds down the backseat armrest to talk to Andi, and she attacks him through the little hole. I like Andi more in this episode than ever before. She’s kind of awesome.

Sam decides to “scare” the truth into Andi and takes her to see Tony. The boys wrestle her into the cabin, where she almost rips off Sock’s nipple, and then Tony turns full-on demon right in front of her. Not surprisingly, Andi runs from the cabin. Ben asks if Sock left the keys in the car and, as Andi peels out of the driveway, Sock responds, “It’s possible.”

Tony drops the boys off at home. Sam is frustrated that every time he gets close to Andi, something happens. Tony gives him a big speech about how love is worth any sacrifice. I kept expecting something terrible to rush up and kill Tony during this speech, but nothing happened.

The next day, no one can find Andi. The boys go to the hospital to trap the soul, and the devil appears. He has locked Andi in Sam’s trunk again and says that Sam has one more chance to get it right. When Sam lets Andi out, she finally says she believes him and swears not to tell anyone. But this is more than she can handle, and she starts to walk away. He yells that he loves her. In tears, she turns back and says she’s afraid of him.

Dualla from Battlestar Galactica (Kandyse McClure) plays Cassidy, a nurse at the hospital. And Ben realizes that she has all of the qualities on his list. I was not expecting that; I thought Ben would realize he liked the imperfect Sara. When Sock & Sam corner Jack, he cuts off his hand and lets it escape. Sock goes after the hand while Sam stays with Jack, who turns the tables on him. Fortunately Andi chooses that moment to walk into the room, and after a struggle the scythe ends up in her hands. Jack goes to attack her and runs straight into the scythe, getting sucked into it before her eyes. With not even enough time to comfort her, Sam is forced to leave a stunned Andi behind so that he can track down the other Jack.

Ben tells Sara he met the girl of his dreams. But it’s obvious that Sara has loved Ben all along, and she says he can’t date anyone because they’re married. Andi and Sam make up, and everyone is happy. But in the end, the devil steals Sam away to Tony’s cabin, and it turns out the favor he wants is for Sam to infiltrate Tony’s new circle of insurrective demons.

Naturally just as I start to really enjoy this show it’s going to get canceled.
Great quotes were not just from Sock this week!

Sam, talking soothingly to a locked-in-the-trunk Andi:
“Hey, hi, how are you, I brought you a juice box.”

Tony, just before he reveals his true form to Andi:
“Please don’t pee on the carpet, I just put it down.”

Sam, upon learning Sock and Ben have kidnapped Andi:
“This isn’t solving the problem, this is adding a felony on top of the problem!”

After a naked Jack lands on Sock's back, with Ben standing nearby:
Sock: “That was horrible.”
Ben: “It looked horrible.”
Sock: “Did it leave a mark?”

And my favorite, when Sam berates Sock and Ben for not helping him explain the truth to Andi:
Sam: “Where the hell were you guys, I was dying over there.”
Sock: “I had to wait for the chili cheese fries.”
Ben: “My wife called.”

During this episode I saw yet another Veronica Mars alumni in a bad commercial. First Wallace sold Hot Pockets, now Hannah is selling KFC.

Woah, goat turd on the floor, is that new?

How I Met Your Mother – The Goat
Barney breaks the “Bro Code” in a matter involving Ted, and has to deal with the consequences.

On Ted’s 30th birthday, we finally see the story of the goat (first mentioned in season one episode “Milk”). Robin and Barney wake up together. They decide to pretend that nothing happened, and they’re kind of cute together. Barney has a terrible time pretending and finds it difficult to be around Ted. He is super awkward and keeps thinking that everyone knows.

Barney tries to tell Marshall his secret, but Marshall covers his ears. So Barney tosses a bowling ball that Marshall is forced to catch, and takes the opportunity to tell Marshall that he slept with Robin. Marshall is horrified. Barney hires Marshall as his “lawyer” to study the “Bro Code” and prove that he did nothing wrong. It’s a testament to the writing that this new, contrite side of Barney didn’t feel “wrong.” Barney is unscrupulous, even towards his friends (i.e. making Ted grow a mustache he knows will look ridiculous) – but never about anything really important. Shopping at Sky Mall when he’s depressed is totally in step with his materialistic character.

Lily brings a farmer and his goat into her classroom and when kids ask if they’ll get to see Missy the goat again, the farmer says he’s having her slaughtered. So Lily brings her home, with a plan for Animal Rescue to pick her up on Monday. Marshall arrives at the apartment, acting horribly awkward, so Robin instantly knows that he knows. She threatens him, telling him not to breathe a word.

Marshall cannot find a loophole in the Bro Code and Barney is upset because he just wants to feel better. His next move is to show that Ted has broken the Bro Code before, but Marshall proves that Ted has always upheld the code. Marshall tells Barney the only way to feel better is to tell Ted what he did.

Barney picks up Ted in a limo to take him to his surprise party, but tries to take him to Vegas instead, to prove what a good friend he is. He starts to tell Ted that he slept with Robin, but Ted already knows. Turns out Robin was unable to keep the secret. In a flash back, Robin breaks when Ted shows her a picture he has found of the two of them on vacation. She is earnestly repentant, and Ted tells her he’s not mad. He says the same thing to Barney, but he’s totally lying. Back at the party, we learn that Lily knows too, and she asks if it was amazing and if Barney was “all smooth down there.” Back in the limo, Ted punches Barney in the crotch.

In a suddenly serious turn for HIMYM, Ted tells Barney that he doesn’t want to be friends anymore. He calls a cab, and Barney looks like he’s about to cry.

At the very end, adult Ted starts to tell the story of how the goat locked herself in the bathroom and ate Robin’s washcloth. Then he stops and says, “Wait, Robin wasn’t living there during my 30th birthday. The goat story happened during my 31st birthday.” What?!?!

To be perfectly honest, I do not pay as much attention to the time line of HIMYM as I could. But, in the second season episode “Single Stamina” when Barney’s brother gets married, Robin and Ted slow dance at the wedding. We don’t know exactly where this scene fits into the overall time line, but let’s say it’s roughly 6-8 months after their breakup. The conversation they had with Lily and Marshall before they got up to dance implied that they were not together – Ted says something like “I think I’ll stay a little longer” and Robin says “Me too” – but who knows? That’s the sheer beauty of HIMYM.

The way the Robin-living-in-the-apt info was casually tossed out in the final moments of “The Goat” is indicative of everything I love about the show. What does it mean that in a year’s time, Robin will be living with Ted? Do they just become roommates, or will they rekindle their relationship? Or does Ted not live in the apartment at this future date? And, since we know (or think we know) that Robin is not the mother, does it even matter?

They've changed the rules.

Lost – The Shape of Things To Come
Locke’s camp comes under attack and Jack tries to identify a body that has washed ashore.

What is there to say about this episode that couldn’t be said in 4 minutes? I’ll give you the answer: a lot! It was most definitely a game-changing episode. First off, we get a flash-forward of Ben and Sayid. Now we know that Charles Widmore has something to do with why Sayid is teamed up with Ben later on – he had Sayid’s wife Nadia killed. I have a sneaking suspicion that Ben may have had a hand in that as well, but that will play out later. Sayid is convinced he needs to help Ben assassinate all known associates of Charles Widmore. This week’s flash-forward started with Ben waking up in the middle of a desert wearing a parka with a gun wound in his right arm. Two Middle Eastern gentlemen toting AK-47s ride up to him and act threatening, to say the least. While one of them is searching Ben’s pockets, he suddenly transforms into Jason Bourne, calmly and efficiently ending their lives.

The ship’s “security” guards have obviously made it onto the island since they killed Rousseau and took Alex captive last episode. They make their way into Locke’s camp and proceed to mow down anything that moves. Sawyer is very sneaky and manages to make it over to Claire’s cabin in order to drag her virtually untouched body out of the wreckage of her cabin. Apparently on the island you can launch a rocket at a cabin, reducing the entire thing to burning toothpicks, and if only one person is inside she’ll survive and just be a bit shell-shocked.

The main security guard, Martin Keamy, tries to get Ben to come out of his cabin by holding a gun to Alex’s head. Ben calls Keamy’s bluff and Keamy paints the ground with Alex’s brains. I saw Hitman this weekend so I can assure you I know exactly what happens when someone is shot in the head. If you too would like to know, please rent Hitman because I don’t want to think about that movie ever again. Ben is left in shock, mumbling something about changing the rules. He runs into his secret room and summons the smoke monster, which turns Keamy’s “security” team into pulp. Ben goes over to say goodbye to his daughter, which is a really touching moment and I’ve got to give Emerson props for the way he acted. He made Ben into a very human character in that scene.

Locke and his crew move out. There is some strife, so Sawyer, Claire, Miles, and Hurley decide to head back to the beach to join Jack’s group. Ben and Locke have decided to head to Jacob’s cabin to find out what’s going on. Since Hurley is the only person who knows where Jacob’s cabin is, he is forced to stay with Locke and Ben at gunpoint. While all of this was going down I didn’t get the feeling that Hurley really wanted to go to the beach. I think he wants to stay with Locke and Ben. I may be completely wrong on that guess, but that’s the nature of the show.

The episode started out with Bernard finding the body of the doctor aboard the ship washing up on the beach. The satellite phone was broken, so Faraday rigged it so it could transmit Morse code to the ship. Obviously Jack has suspicions about Faraday and why his group is on the island, and they were confirmed during this episode. Faraday sent a message to the boat asking about the doctor, then lied to the group. But, Jack had Bernard on hand to call him out. The people on the boat said that the doctor was fine and nothing was wrong on their end. The island’s time difference is rearing its nasty head again. Jack violently confronts Faraday about why they are on the island and Faraday admits that rescuing the survivors of Flight 815 is not on their agenda. Jack has had a stomach bug all episode and right at this moment he hits the ground like Mike Tyson when he fought Buster Douglas.

The most interesting scene in this episode occurs during the flash-forward with Ben. He breaks into Charles Widmore’s house and confronts him in his bedroom. Charles has taken the Chuck Bukowski method of sleeping to heart and pours himself a tall glass of scotch to wash away his dreams. Ben accuses Charles of killing Alex, and Charles tells Ben it was his fault. Charles also makes it clear to Ben that the island will be his again. Ben says that because Charles changed the rules by killing Alex, he is going to kill Penny.

• I’m not convinced Rousseau is dead. She seems too tough to go out the way she did.
• I like how the Lost producers were like, “What are we going to do with all these random survivors that walk around and carry firewood and stuff?” and then the another producer is all, “I know, let’s get a bunch of guns and shoot them all and blow some shit up.” I didn’t catch the credits so would someone please check and tell me if Michael Bay directed this episode?
• When Ben finds himself in the desert and doesn’t know what year it is…that’s a telling moment. Now we know that time travel has something to do with everything.
• This episode began with a top shot of Ben splayed out in the desert. The series began with a shot of Jack splayed out on the beach. Hmmmm.
• When they’re playing Risk and Hurley says, “Australia is the key to the whole game.” Am I the only one who gets the sense that may have more meaning than just talking about Risk?

Listen here, chisel chest...

Supernatural – Ghostfacers
Sam and Dean star in a paranormal reality show that takes them to an abandoned estate that turns into one of the most haunted places in the US for one night each year.

Wow. Just … wow. “Ghostfacers” didn’t advance our base story at all, but what a fantastic episode. If you didn’t watch it you absolutely must find it online, because there is no way this post can do it justice.

The episode opens with Harry and Ed (of HellhoundsLair.com fame) pitching a new TV show. They talk about the writer’s strike (ha) and how reality TV is the new thing. Their show, called “Ghostfacers,” follows them as they hunt down ghosts: “We face the faceless, we face the dead.” Seen through Harry & Ed’s cameras, this entire SN episode is set up as an ep of “Ghostfacers.”

First we meet the team: Ed and Harry, who SN fans will remember from season one episode “Hell House.” Their intern Corbett, who saw Ed putting up fliers and thought, “Where do ghosts come from?” Maggie, Ed’s adopted sister. And cameraman Spruce, who is 15/16 Jew, 1/16 Cherokee. (And excellent casting all around). The humor is nonstop, and with the mock-documentary format it’s like I’m watching The Office, but its Supernatural. Crazy.

There is a legend that the Morton House becomes the most haunted place in America every four years, on February 29th. The Ghostfacers team breaks into the house, only to run into Sam and Dean pretending to be cops. Unfortunately, Ed and Harry remember the brothers from their run-in in West Texas, so their little charade fails.

The gang begins to see ghosts reliving their deaths, which Sam explains are “death echoes.” What they can’t figure out is why: none of these people died in the house. Sam & Dean come close to getting everyone out of the house before midnight, but Corbett sneaks back upstairs and gets attacked. In a quick side moment, we learn that at this point Dean has two months to live. Spruce asks if it’s cancer. Digging through the house, Dean finds toe tags for the people whose ghosts they’ve seen. They realize the guy who owned the house, Daggett, was a hospital janitor who took people’s remains home with him. Right then there is a huge surge of EMF activity, and Sam disappears.



Sam ends up in the same place as Corbett, sitting at a table set for a birthday party with a bunch of dessicated corpses surrounding him while Lesley Gore’s “It’s My Party” plays. It’s pretty fucking freaky. The ghost sticks a spike through Corbett’s throat. The gore on this show never ceases to surprise me. Dean and Spruce start downstairs and the door automatically locks behind them, separating them from everyone else. Dean finds Sam, who explains that Daggett was “Norman Bates stuff your mother” lonely.

Upstairs, Corbett’s ghost appears, gasping and tortured. Ed wants to help pull him out of his loop. Harry says that Corbett had feelings for Ed: “You gotta go be gay for that poor dead intern.” Ed approaches Corbett’s ghost and says he loves him, and Corbett snaps out of his trance. At the same moment, Daggett attacks Sam and Dean, but Corbett’s ghost saves the day. This all happens really quickly and is very slightly anti-climactic. In the end, Sam and Dean leave an electromagnet behind to destroy the footage that the Ghostfacers took, thereby preserving their precious anonymity.

In addition to showing the boys cursing up a storm (bleeped a la Arrested Development), this episode was chock-full of fantastic quotes:

Ed, trying to put his foot down with Dean:
“Listen here, chisel chest…”

Corbett, delighted by a compliment from Ed:
“You think I look like Robocop?”

Sam, irritated with Dean:
“Oh, let’s go hunt the Morton House, it’s our Grand Canyon.”

When Dean tries to help Ed & Harry by yelling through a locked door:
Dean: “There’s salt in my duffel bag, make a circle and get inside.”
Ed: “ Inside your duffel bag?”

When Harry explains Corbett’s feelings to Ed:
Harry: “He wanted you.”
Ed: “He wanted me to what?”

Ed & Harry reflecting on their adventure:
“We’ve learned that gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day.”

If I'm dead, you've been dead for a week.

The Office – Night Out
Michael & Dwight take a trip to New York to mingle with bigwig Ryan and his colleagues at the nightclubs. Back in Scranton, the staffers work on Ryan’s pet website project – on a Saturday.

As we open, Michael comes into the office with gum in his hair, so Dwight covers his head in peanut butter to get it out. A manic Ryan arrives to make the Scranton branch work on Saturday. Ryan has tried to created the new Dunder Mifflin website to function partly as a social networking site, and it has been invaded by sexual predators. He wants to input their phone sales into the website to cover up his failures.

Still desperate to find a girlfriend, Michael goes to New York with Dwight to visit Ryan. They go to a club, where cokehead Ryan becomes increasingly addled and Michael is shot down time and again. The men go to a second club, but can’t get in without girls. There happens to be a college basketball team in line near them, so Dwight commandeers them, then makes out with one of them. What?!? In the end, they return to Ryan’s apartment where he kind of admits that he has a drug problem. Michael, for his part, is just thrilled to have had a boy’s night out.

Meanwhile, back at the office, Jim decides they should all work late Friday instead of coming in on Saturday. However, he forgets to tell the security guard, who locks the gate to the parking lot, trapping them. And, Pam has locked the office on their way out, so they get can’t back in. Toby, being surprisingly inappropriate, hits on Pam. He realizes his mistake, proclaims that he’s moving to Costa Rica, and runs off. Noooo!

ANTM Cycle 10: Woo! Edition

America’s Next Top Model – Viva Italia
The models travel to Rome and film a commercial in Italian.

So last week we posted a poll, and here are the results:

Who should win ANTM Cycle 10?
40% Anya
30% Katarzyna
10% Whitney

The girls go to Rome. They freak out, as is to be expected. They are dropped off at the Colosseum and Anya falls off the bus. Literally. Fatima says she (Fatima) has received a second chance and has no excuse not to do her best. Katarzyna describes their new apartment as “off the chain.” As soon as they get to Rome, Fatima gets sick. Anya is tired of everyone ripping on each other just to make themselves feel better.

On a tour of Rome, their tour guide points out fashionable women on the street. It reminds me of The Sartorialist. This has got to be part of the challenge. The girls meet designer Gai Mattiolo. Their challenge is to adapt to Italian style, so they get an “Italian” makeover. Whitney is concerned that all the clothes are sample sizes and she can’t fit into them, but she does find something to wear. Fatima is elegant. Dominique is natural but not fresh. Katarzyna is beautiful. Anya is “so blonde.” Whitney is “so American.” Lauren has beautiful legs. Anya wins the challenge. Seriously, WTF? I do not get the fascination with Anya at all.

When the girls get the next TyraMail it is in Italian. Katarzyna, who speaks a variety of languages, tells the girls they will be doing a commercial for Cover Girl. Lauren gets really worried, saying, “I’m not a cover girl, that’s not me.” Why is she on the show then?!?

Each girl shoots a 30 second spot after learning a script in Italian. They have a very brief amount of time to learn quite a lot – in addition to speaking an unfamiliar language, they have to walk, put on lipstick, and interact with other actors.

During the shoot:
Anya looks confused; didn’t know what was going on but she works it.
Katarzyna did an amazing job but her performance was a little lifeless.
Dominique makes up the language but her energy is good.
Lauren is truly terrible. She is hard to watch, and can’t take direction.
Fatima has lost her voice a little, but she’s determined. The director describes her as a goddess.
Whitney didn’t jive; her laugh was too fake and she came off bitchy.

During panel:
Anya was a “piece of dookie” but she does have the model look.
Katarzyna was good but Tyra felt the ending was boring.
Dominique was “hoochified” but she brought an energy. Paulina says she was scary.
Lauren didn’t even try, was too nervous, there was no elegance.
Fatima was a bit sexual, but the fact that she managed to say it all in one take is impressive.
Whitney was fake from beginning to end, but Tyra liked it. Paulina does not agree.

Katarzyna brings a lot more personality to panel, but unfortunately most of it comes out of her teasing Tyra about not being able to pronounce her name. It was a great idea to be more bubbly, but by the end Tyra seemed kind of annoyed. Cover Girl of the Week is Anya. Boo.

In the private deliberation:
No one aced it.
Anya is a model physically but you can’t understand anything she says.
Katarzyna was the director’s favorite.
Dominique was not a cover girl at all, but they enjoyed it. J Alexander “still thinks she’s a brother.”
Lauren is a model. She takes the best pictures but she was too nervous.
Fatima’s was one of the best she’s ever done.
Whitney has a lot to work on and she’ s too fake.

Fatima gets called first. The bottom two are Lauren and Whitney. Sorry for the photo trickery this week, but there was no photo of Fatima’s shoot on the CW site.

Lauren takes amazing photos but she is still awkward in person. They feel she has given up. Whitney takes beautiful pictures but she is too phony. And Lauren is eliminated! I did not see that coming.

The Blair Bitch Project

Gossip Girl – The Blair Bitch Project
A dethroned Blair musters up the strength to head back to school, and Jenny tries to keep up with the financial demands of the in crowd. Meanwhile, Serena, Eric, and Chuck adjust to their blended families living under one roof.

Poor Jenny has really fallen in with the bad crowd. Not even her new BFF Nate or her super-hot dad Rufus can save her from herself at this point. Jenny moved into Blair's territory while Blair was recovering from her Chuck/Nate scandal. Now the only way Jenny can stay afloat amongst the richies at school is to pawn all of her belongings at a vintage clothing shop. I think I tried that in high school but it only got me $15, surely not enough to pay for a $120 brunch in Manhattan. But I digress...

Nate and Jenny have formed some sort of bond. I'm not really sure when that happened. Maybe it was when Nate accidentally smooched Jenny at the masquerade ball or maybe it was when Jenny told Nate that Blair did it with Chuck. All I know for sure is that when Jenny gets the genius idea to steal a custom-made red Valentino dress to pawn in order to buy a cheap Dolce & Gabbana frock, it is Nate that she calls to bail her out, asking to borrow $8000 in order to buy back the Valentino and remove suspicion from her initial criminal act. I'm sorry, $8000?! Isn't Nate's dad in prison? Does he really have that sort of petty cash lying about? Didn't his dad already use it to buy coke?

Speaking of coke, Serena received a little packet of white powder in the mail and a giant parcel of champagne bottles was delivered to her at school. Assuming Chuck is the culprit, Serena gets Chuck kicked out of their new family home (remember that Lily and Chuck's dad are about to marry, therefore both families are shaking up Brady Bunch-style). Turns out that the gifts were actually from "G," who turns out to be some girl named Georgina (played by Michelle Trachtenburg).

Some people know Trachtenburg from Buffy but I know her as Harriet the Spy or Nona from The Adventures of Pete and Pete. I cannot believe that Harriet the Spy is the one person who is able to turn Serena's world upside down, but apparently "G" is going to do just that.

We're part of an underground alliance of demons fighting to overthrow the devil!

Reaper – Rebellion
Steve and Tony want to lure the Devil into a trap by exploiting Sam’s relationship with him. Meanwhile, Ted asks Sock for permission to ask Josie out on a date. Sock doesn’t believe she’ll say yes … but she does.

Although I will miss Sock, I’m about ready to give up on Reaper. And it looks like I’m not the only one. The Ausiello Report had this to say recently: “Creatively, it failed to live up to the lofty expectations we had for it after that flawless pilot. And the ratings? Hellish.”

Things Reaper could do to improve:
Get rid of Josie – what is the point of this character?
Add more Ted – duh.
Keep Steve and Tony around – duh again.

On to the recap – this ep was a doozy. Andi recovers from her accident, although based on a conversation with her doctor she thinks that seeing Sam kill someone was a hallucination. Turns out Sam bribed the janitor to pretend to be a doctor. Sam’s hair is like twice as long. Where’s the continuity, people?

Ray Wise is fantastic, so it’s unfortunate the show hasn’t lived up to its potential. This week’s escaped soul is a lawyer, Cubbby, who bilked his clients out of their savings and has returned to literally bleed people dry. The vessel is a whip. Sam lures Cubby in with the promise of a lawsuit and when he shows up for their meeting, the boys catch him. Shocking. It is clear that, for the first time, catching the soul is not the center of this episode.

Andi has decided that there is no time to waste and asks Sam on a date. Meanwhile, Ted asks Sock permission to ask Josie out. Sock finds this hysterical and tells Ted to “hit that thing.” Andi and Sam, after making out at the Work Bench, agree their “date” should just be that Andi comes over. Code for: let’s have sex. After his date with Josie, Ted points out that she likes to date down. Sock is seriously offended. He confronts Josie, who admits Ted is an idiot and says really nice things about Sock. When Ted shows up to court his lady, Sock answers the door in Josie’s robe. On another date, Sam and Andi make out on his couch. They have gone from “just friends” to “you’re the person I trust more than anyone in the world” in one episode. Sam tells her he might act strange from time to time, but it’s for a good reason. Andi says she can’t think of a secret that would change the way she feels about him.

While all this is going on, Steve and Tony lay out a plan to overthrow the devil because they feel that his leadership is taking them in the wrong direction. Sam is reticent until they convince him that his contract will be revoked. I love me some Steve & Tony, but it’s not a great sign when the secondary characters are the best thing about a show. S&T take Sam to meet the “underground,” a group of normal-looking demons whose version of insurrection is planting flowers and collecting recyclables. “But then I tried to eat a child. I untied the kid and called my sponsor.” Steve explains that kindness is their weapon. Later, Tony admits that the peaceful resistance plan isn’t very efficient. He suggests ramming a nuke down the devil’s throat.

The next time S&T appear they take Sam to a meeting where they’ve prepared a human sacrifice to get him out of his contract. Sam refuses to send an innocent person to hell in his place. Tony gets all worked up and makes a speech about how they are demons and they should play to their strengths. If Sam can bring the devil to them, they will take care of the rest. Tony then reveals his true form, and it’s not as scary as you might have hoped. He is dark green and scaly, with horns. He looks like one of the baddies on Buffy. Or Angel. I can't remember which.

Sam tries to be friendly with the devil but since lately he’s been refusing the devil’s advances, it is difficult. They go for ice cream, and Sam starts to feel kind of bad for the devil when he admits that he once felt a true, pure love for god. He also says he views Sam as a friend, and gives Sam his private cell number. Which Sam promptly gives to Tony, but then feels awful about it. Though Reaper has a lot to learn, the development of the relationship between Sam and the devil has been great. Are they friends? No. But they do have lovely interactions like this:

Devil: I treat you with respect and you treat me like little bits of dirt.
Sam: You are so weird.

The renegade demons gather for the showdown. Steve interrupts, begging them to call it off. If they murder the devil in cold blood, they become more like him. Meanwhile, Ben discovers that Cubby (the escaped soul, remember?) used to live in their apartment. That can’t be a coincidence. Sock and Ben dig up the lease and find Satan’s signature. The devil planted the boys in the apartment so that Sam would meet Steve and Tony!

Ben phones to warn Sam, but Tony grabs the phone and calls the devil, who appears and then causes the building to collapse, killing all of the renegade demons but saving Sam. This has been his plan from the start: to use Sam in order to destroy the demons that speak out against him. In the end, Tony climbs out of the smoking pit where the building used to be, and his eyes turn bright yellow. I guess that means he’s mad.

This was a great episode chock-full of plot development, but I fear it may be too little, too late. Amusingly, it also spat in the face of 2 of the 3 "improvements" that I jotted down before the ep began: Josie seems to be taking on a more prominent role, and Steve & Tony appear to be on the way out.

Side note: one of the renegade demons, this guy, is in the Oregon Dept of Health commercial about quitting smoking that airs during this episode. Odd.

Is he somebody you went to Degrassi with?

How I Met Your Mother – Sandcastles in the Sand
Robin renews her relationship with an old flame that hurt her in the past, and she’s too blind with emotion to see that he’s still a loser.

I’ve found myself singing “Let’s Go to the Mall” the whole evening prior to this episode.

Robin’s old boyfriend Simon, who broke her heart, is in town and she’s excited to show off her hot self. The usual Canadian teasing ensues, from jokes that are elegant and well crafted (“Did he break up with you by saying he just wasn’t that Inuit?”) to crude and ill formed (“Something about fur trapping”). In the flash backs, Robin’s Canadian accent is hysterical. James Van Der Beek sounds like he’s trying to be Scottish, and he still looks exactly like Dawson. In the present, Simon is fat and bald, but Robin can’t stop giggling as soon as she sees him.

Simon is kind of mean to Robin, but she falls for him anyway. The gang learns that there is another Robin Sparkles video out in the world, and Barney is determined to track it down. Marshall introduces the notion of “revertigo,” whereby individuals revert to certain behaviors around people from their past. To illustrate, Marshall tells Lily to call her friend Michelle. When Michelle shows up, Lily stars talking all ghetto.

Simon dumps Robin again, in the same way and for the same reason. She ends up at the bar alone. Barney appears, frustrated that he can’t find her video, and finds her crying. He comforts her, telling her she’s one of the most awesome people he knows. The show teases up by making it seem like they’re going to kiss, and Robin invites Barney back to her place. One would hope it’s for sex, but really it’s to show him the second Robin Sparkles video.

It’s a ballad shot on the beach. And Tiffany and Alan Thicke are in it. It’s certainly no “Let’s Go to the Mall.” And then HOLY SHIT!! Barney and Robin start making out!



This has been a long time coming, and it’s thrilling. I don’t really expect anything to evolve between them – I mean really, we love Barney just the way he is – but I’ve always thought Robin might be the one girl who could make Barney change his ways. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if they have a secret sexual fling. Neither of them is relationship-oriented, so it could work … for a time. We have heard rumors that by the end of this season Ted will begin to turn his back on Barney and his wanton ways – could this be the reason? I can’t imagine the young Mosby will react well to the news.

I lost a penny out of my loafers, Oscar.

The Office – Chair Model
Michael becomes obsessed with a model in an office supply catalog. Meanwhile, a territorial war heats up in the office park when some staffers try to reclaim their appropriated parking spots.

The employees of Dunder Mifflin are irritated because another company in the office park is remodeling, and their contractors are taking all the parking spaces. Actually, that’s wrong. Some are irritated; some, like Andy and Kevin, are downright livid. This has a lot of potential as a return to the wonderfully mundane story lines of The Office we all know and love. Andy and Kevin go to Michael about the parking situation, but he refuses to help. So, the boys gather the CEOs of the business park (who are portrayed like mob bosses) to talk about the parking issue. The bosses agree to give the spaces back, and Andy makes an impassioned speech to the camera about defending the average joe—the guy who wonders, “How am I going to pay my kids’ orphanage bills? How am I going to pay the mortgage on my $400 apartment?” Ouch. What happened to the subtle humor? Contrary to expectations, this storyline was not great.

In other news, a newly single Michael becomes obsessed with a cute model in the office supply catalog. Dwight pledges to find the model and he does, but learns that she has died in a car accident. Already tired of being single, Michael puts out a formal request for every employee to set him up on a date or they’re fired. Phyllis offers to set up Michael with her friend, but he’s skeptical. And it turns out Phyllis’s friend is fat. Hysterical. Pam feels bad so she sets Michael up with her landlady. He meets her and she is not cute, so he pretends that he is not Michael. This reminds me of the finale of the British Office when David goes on his blind dates. The fact that I have suddenly started comparing the American Office to the British one is a bad sign.

Jim tells Pam that she’s going to get evicted for setting up such a horrible date, and uses this as an excuse to ask Pam to move in with him. She says no; she won’t move in with anyone again unless she’s engaged. He says, “It’s coming.” Fans across the nation are squealing in glee right now. But why does Jim still look so awful? I like that the shaggy hair is back, but he looks exhausted. Pam & Jim joke around about getting engaged, and then in a side interview we learn that Jim actually does have an engagement ring that he bought a week after they started dating.

Yikes. Well, I know how I want this to go down. Jim proposes, Pam thinks it’s too fast after her recent failed engagement, this is the “strife” that we keep hearing about, and Jim and Pam break up but continue to pine for each other, at least for a while. Bring back the sexual tension! While walking to their cars, Jim suddenly gets down on one knee. Pam looks shocked, but he just makes a joke about needing to tie his shoe.

There were some good lines, particularly when Michael calls Oscar “Oscar Meyer Weiner Lover.” About being single, Michael says, “Desperate situations yield the greatest results.” The hand-me-down chair chain was great; i.e. Pam gets Michael’s old chair, Creed gets Pam’s, and so on. The Phyllis-Michael conversation about her friend’s qualities was also quite good: “So she’s not jolly or sassy? Not like a jolly, sassy opera singer?” And let’s not forget:

Pam: Tell them what we saw today, Jim.
Jim: Oh, today we saw a junkyard dog attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken.
Pam: Nature.

And even though the singing-and-dancing-in-the-graveyard scene at the end was a little strange, Dwight singing the wrong lyrics made me giggle for several minutes afterwards: “And I know that you’re in love with him; cause I saw you dancing in the gym; you both kicked off your shoes; NO VERDICT WAS RETURNED!”

I don’t know, folks. I’m just not feeling The Office lately. I’ve talked it over with other fans, and most think I’m being too hard on the show. Although apparently I am not the only one who misses the Jim-Pam sexual tension. Now that they’re together they’re just so … boring. And that fact that the show has come to center almost solely on the boring couple and the crazy couple is not going so well. But I know that I’m in the minority…

ANTM Cycle 10: Jetsetter Edition

America’s Next Top Model – For Those About To Walk, We Salute You
Paulina instructs the models how to behave during interviews and public events, and then the gals test their new skills at a cocktail party where they mingle with fashion-world notables. One contestant panics when she loses her travel documents and realizes she may not be able to go to a secret overseas location with the rest of the group.

After the last episode I, for the first time ever, voted in the Cover Girl Model of the Week poll. I’m only slightly ashamed. Mostly I feel ok about it.

The girls talk about how they are proud to have made it so far. Whitney, in particular, is thrilled since she is a plus-sized model. But, there is no way a plus-sized model will win this competition so I feel sorry for her. Irresponsible Fatima has lost her travel documents so she can’t leave the country. She has been talking with a lawyer trying to expedite the process of getting new docs, and all the girls are really encouraging and sympathetic. Bitch please! ANTM sends the girls to another country. Every. Single. Season. Fatima is an idiot.

In other news, Katarzyna’s hair looks amazing. Paulina teaches the girls to think on their feet for interviews and whatnot. They each have to approach and impress Paulina as she pretends to be a makeup mogul at a party. Paulina is a royal bitch, which is fabulous. Lauren just giggles. Paulina thinks Katarzyna is a waitress. Whitney and Stacy Ann are too fake. Anya does well. Next, Paulina pretends to be an airheaded interviewer. Whitney answers the questions well but her expression goes blank. Dominique rambles.

The girls make potato pancakes. What? Models can eat that shit? I guess Whitney’s the one making them, though, and she is plus-sized. I kid, I kid. Anyway, Lauren cuts the tip of her finger off and has to go to the hospital. The ANTM producer calls Fatima. Apparently the consulate has said that her scramble to get travel documents is too last minute. The producer is concerned that she will not get them in time. But this is ridiculous, because money can do anything and of course she will get them. I am in a bad mood tonight and it would cheer me immensely if some girl gets fucked in this competition just because she’s irresponsible.

In a commercial for Farmer Wants a Wife, the CW totally disses Dominique by comparing her to some horrible-looking girl who will be on FWAW. Awesome!

Tyra sends the girls a huge box of lemons and limes. They are invited to a “green carpet” event hosted by 7 Up. Designer Jay Godfrey sends over dresses and stylists to get the girls ready. The challenge is to work the red carpet and the party. The girls are actually decent on the red carpet, except Dominique commits the ultimate faux pas by getting the designer’s name wrong when asked who she’s wearing. Lauren is confident, but curses in her interview. Whitney still looks fake.

At the party, Lauren does really well. She is self-assured and svelte as she talks about her love for crust punk. Nigel even comments on it. Stacy Ann thinks she’s doing amazing, but in reality she’s coming off as phony. Anya wins the chance to star in a 7 Up ad. She gets paid $10,000. And she kinda gloats about it in front of the other girls. I think she should have kept it to herself. It’s called class, girl.

Big fucking surprise. The ANTM producer calls to let Fatima know she has an appointment at the consulate at 9:00 am the next day. At the same moment, the girls get a TyraMail telling them to pack for a trip abroad. They get into the limo at 5:00 am and are taken to the airport. Fatima is freaking out, though to be honest ANTM is building the drama way too much and it is super obvious how this will turn out. Really, she shouldn’t even be in the limo since she has no travel documents.

Anyway, it’s all a sham. This is actually a photo shoot. They’re not going anywhere.

The idea is for a group shot of the girls running to catch a plane. Each girl is “featured” in turn, and then the photographer will put together a composite of each girl’s best shot. Fatima explains her situation to Jay, and he is totally unsympathetic. He thinks she’s been lax, and I agree. She rushes off to the consulate.

During the shoot, Lauren doesn’t do that well but Jay does acknowledge that she’s dealing with pain. Stacy Ann sucks. Whitney also sucks. Anya does well. Fatima gets her docs. Duh. Working with Dominique is like “Remedial Posing 101.” Katarzyna is great. Fatima does not make it back before the end of the shoot. Which sucks for her, because when the girls go to relax after the shoot, panel is waiting for them. Damn.

Tyra explains that immediately after the judging, they are going abroad. She is way overly tough with Fatima, so it’s clear she will not be sent home. During the judging, Fatima stands in the back crying. Katarzyna, Lauren, Dominique, and Anya are praised. Stacy Ann and Whitney are not. My guess at this point is Stacy Ann. Normally I would say Fatima, but they’ve overplayed it too much. Lauren wins Cover Girl of the Week.

In the deliberation: Katarzyna is “pretty good.” Dominique is improving week to week. Lauren is still not that great in person, but Jay and Paulina believe in her. Whitney takes good photos but she’s fake in person. Stacy Ann has plateaued. Anya stole the show. Fatima’s body of work is split between good and bad.

Anya takes the best photo. The bottom two are Stacy Ann and Fatima, and of course Stacy Ann is eliminated. Tyra hopes that Fatima has learned a lesson in responsibility. After a sobbing Stacy Ann leaves the hangar, Tyra tells the girls they are going to Rome. They start screeching and jumping up and down.

I have to say that I am really not into Anya. It’s not that I dislike her. She is nice and agreeable and her photos are fine. Overall, she has won more than the other girls, but I absolutely do not see this girl as top model material. I continue to be shocked every week when she wins things. Am I the only one?

Your report is the crap that crap craps!

How I Met Your Mother – The Chain of Screaming
After being verbally berated by his boss, Marshall questions whether the decision to work for a big corporate law firm was his best career move.

Ted is dating Stella (what?) and buys a new car. Even though he lives in New York. Stella’s not actually in the episode, they just talk about her. Robin and Barney fight about whether you can “call shotgun for eternity.” These two totally need to date. Or at the very least, do it. A shell-shocked Marshall shows up needing beer because he’s been screamed at by one of the senior partners of the firm. Furious that he’s stuck in a job he hates instead of saving the environment, Marshall has burst into tears in front of his boss.

Each of Marshall's friends suggests a course of action, "acting out" their solution as Marshall. This was quite funny, except Ted's was kind of lame. Robin suggests threatening said boss with a gun, then gets harassed about being Canadian (“Gun violence might solve all the problems in Canada”). Ted suggests an eloquent speech to sway the boss. Barney tells a story about a guy at work who got tired of being yelled at; told his boss to kiss his ass; then died poor, destitute, and alone. The lesson is, “When your boss screams at you, don’t scream back.” Lily suggests that Marshall be positive and respectful to enact change.

The next night, Ted finds Marshall on the street with a box full of his possessions. We flash back to the previous night and see that after all the advice-giving, Marshall went to a diner to work on a report. Barney shows up and tells Marshall to scream at someone to make himself feel better. Marshall tries to scream at the waiter, but the waiter screams right back at him. So Barney tells Marshall to scream at him, and during the tirade Marshall realizes that he may someday turn into Barney if he stays in corporate America. We flash forward into the boss’s office, and learn that Marshall finally got so furious about the fact that he hates his job that he quit.

Marshall is terrified to tell Lily he has thrown away their future (wow Marshall is uber-dramatic), but of course she’s a fantastic wife and tells him not to worry about anything. In the end, Ted sells his car and gives Marshall the money.

Overall a good ep ... but tell me, am I crazy? Why does everyone in blogworld seem to think that Stella is the mother? I mean, I have to assume Ted's children know their own mother's name. The show has always painted Ted's kids as exasperated that they're being forced to listen to this rambling story. Wouldn't the kids be like "great story dad, thanks!" as soon as they heard their mom's name? I guess maybe the writers could do some kind of switcheroo to make this work, but I do not see how Stella could be the mother. Anyone care to convince me?

The bedroom was asylum white, so I painted it eggshell white.

The Office – Dinner Party
Michael and Jan host a dinner party. On the list are Jim and Pam, who have run out of excuses to avoid such a gathering, and Andy and Angela, a pairing that sends Dwight’s jealousy soaring to new heights.

Woah. Jim looks like hell. As we open, we see that Michael has told all of his employees not to make plans because they have to work late. He then calls Corporate and yells that he refuses to make his employees work late. This is all a lie, and he thereby forces Jim, Pam, Andy, and Angela to come to a couple’s dinner party at his condo.

Michael and Jan are superficially functional but start to break down after about one minute. During a tour of their condo, we learn that since Jan's firing, she has begun to make scented candles in order to relax. Also, she makes Michael sleep on a weird little bench at the foot of the bed because she has "space issues." After Andy and Angela arrive, Pam and Jim are horrified to learn that their meal still has to cook for three hours.

As the couples mingle in the living room, Michael says that the wine has an oaky afterbirth. Jan turns on an indie rock CD by her ex-assistant Hunter and tries to make Jim dance with her. The whole scene is terribly awkward and yet rather awesome. Michael and Jan get into a fight in front of everyone. Jim almost escapes the party by pretending his apartment has flooded. When Michael points out that he & Pam don’t both have to go, Jim nearly leaves Pam there. Jan thinks that Michael has a crush on Pam. They get into another fight and Michael “jokingly” says that Jan is the devil. On a girls’ trip to the kitchen, Jan lets slip that she sees the way Pam looks at Michael. Angela agrees. They did an excellent job of hiding her pregnancy, BTW, I totally forgot about it until this morning. Anyway, we learn that Michael has told Jan that he and Pam used to date. Ouch.

Later, an uninvited Dwight shows up with an old lady. Michael gets fed up with Jan’s behavior and storms out of the room, returning with a neon beer sign that Jan has told him he can’t have. In retaliation, Jan turns on Hunter’s CD again. The two get into a screaming match, and Jan throws one of Michael’s Dundies at his TV. This is incredibly painful. The police show up to answer a call about a domestic disturbance, and they send Michael home with Dwight so that he and Jan can cool down. The episode ends with Jim and Pam eating burgers in his car while mimicking Jan & Michael and listening to Hunter’s CD, which Jim has stolen. Meanwhile, Andy kisses Angela and she slams an ice cream cone against the side of his car in retaliation.

Yikes. Like the “Money” episode, this was ep was really, really uncomfortable. Unlike “Money,” I’m not sure it worked. That’s not to say it was a terrible episode. It wasn't. I have always been a huge fan of the British Office, which was one of the most frankly uncomfortable shows I've ever seen. But until recently, the American version has been much lighter, which has worked well for it. These darker episodes don't blend very well, in my opinion.

ANTM Cycle 10: Not Worth Watching Edition

America’s Next Top Model – Top Model Confidential
A clip show of previously unseen footage, including model wrestling matches and firefighters trying to walk the runway.

Apparently. I didn't bother to watch it, but I'm pretty sure most of it was the girls being bitches to each other. Tah-dah!

Site News

So, nothing is on next week. At least nothing we here at SDYW watch. Sadness. But the one shining light is the return of The Office, and hopefully it will be good. Other than that, I've been watching The Pretender on DVD and I'm enjoying it. Much like Lost, the show gives you just enough pieces of the puzzle to keep you interested, particularly in Miss Parker's case, but the storytelling formula in each episode is exactly the same. Jarod pretends to be [fill in the blank], Miss Parker and Sydney track him down, Jarod stymies the bad guy, Miss Parker and Sydney show up and chase him, he escapes. The end. Please, someone, tell me this doesn't continue for four entire seasons. I don't think I can take it.

ANTM Cycle 10: Drowning Edition

America’s Next Top Model – If You Can’t Make It Here, You Can’t Make It Anywhere
The ladies are divided into groups as they go on modeling auditions. Then, they visit Broadway for a photo shoot, where they are photographed through a plastic sheet while lying face down in water.

Only 8 girls left. At this point I’m pulling for Katarzyna.

Dominique is craaaazy! Like me, Lauren and some of the other girls think Claire was disrespectful to Aimee last week. Lauren maybe drinks Fatima’s coffee (it’s unclear), Fatima is annoyed about it, and Lauren starts cursing up a storm. Whatever.

The girls go on go-sees in groups of four. Wow, these girls get cell phones with navigational capabilities. And they don’t have to do this ep in a country where they don’t speak the language. However, they are not allowed to take taxis. They have to walk everywhere. B.F.D.

Whitney is perfectly aware that, as a plus-sized model, she would not be booking the same jobs as the other girls. And in fact, the first designer they meet says she would not hire a size 10. Whitney is upset even though she saw it coming. I finally think Dominique might be a little kinder toward Whitney, but I am wrong.

The teams swap go-sees, and the second designer Whitney meets does use plus-sized models. The other group doesn’t do so well at their second go-see. At a third location, they all meet up and the winner is announced. I just realized Katarzyna’s hair has not been cut. Anyway, the winning group is Claire, Whitney, Stacy-Ann, and Dominique. Stacy-Ann booked the most jobs. Team 1 gets to be in Seventeen magazine.

For the photo shoot, the girls pose face down, in water, on a huge sheet of plastic suspended above a stage. They don’t go through hair or makeup; in fact they are stripped of the makeup they are wearing. Claire belly flops onto the plastic even though Jay tells her not to, and hurts her neck. What an idiot. I like Claire, but she fucking does a belly flop onto a solid sheet of plastic! What did she think would happen?!?

Dominique rocks it. Claire sucks. I can see her going home tonight. Lauren does not do well. Anya is ok but keeps forgetting about her toes. Finally, they chop off Katarzyna’s hair. She does well. According to Jay, Whitney is “incredible,” and she’s funny – “You just can’t know what you look like. I mean, how often do you practice laying in puddles on the ground?” Stacy-Ann is just ok. Fatima does very well.

Awww, the girls all get along as they talk about how hard the photo shoot was.

In the judging room:
Claire’s photo is flat. She tries to blame it on her face-plant, but Tyra knows that Jay told Claire not to belly flop and she did it anyway.
Stacy-Ann struggled.
Katarzyna looks like a dancer and a model.
Whitney is alive. Her film blew Tyra away.
Dominique is beautiful and has a great expression.
Lauren looks like she’s dead. It’s her weakest shot yet. And she’s awful in front of the judges.
Fatima looks perfect. Her film was stunning.
Anya looks like a nymph and has good intensity.

YAY!!! Cover Girl of the Week is Katarzyna, my new favorite model. Obviously I don’t know why Claire didn’t win this week, but I would bet money it has to do with her nasty behavior in the last episode.

The judges deliberate: Claire is a one-note wonder. Katarzyna takes great photos, but has no personality in the judging room. Dominique looked awful at judging. Nigel thinks Fatima lucked into her shot. Lauren lacks self-confidence, and she’s not getting any better.

The winner is Fatima. The bottom two are Claire and Lauren. Claire can take great pictures, but they are monotonous. Lauren takes great pictures, but is “like Frankenstein” in person.

Claire is eliminated. I totally saw that coming!

Changing the Upfronts

There was an interesting piece on Marketplace last night about the way that NBC is attempting to change the upfront process and what affect it could have on the future of TV. Check it out here.

Two great tastes that taste great together!

Eeeeeeeee!

One of the girls I lied to, seduced, and abandoned is trying to ruin my life.

How I Met Your Mother – The Final Four
Barney tries to find the mystery woman who is out to ruin his reputation, and he uses the basketball tournament-bracket to eliminate 64 suspects, all of whom have reasons to hate him.

During March Madness, Barney continuously strikes out when hitting on girls. He keeps getting slapped and he can’t figure out what’s going on. Later, he and Lily are at the bar and when he leaves the table an anonymous girl comes up and tells Lily that Barney will do whatever it take to get in her pants. Barney realizes that some girl from his past is trashing his reputation all over town, so he sets up a bracket to figure out which of the many, many girls it could be.

As the group goes through Barney’s scrapbook of girls he’s slept with, Lily says all the girls have a right to hate him. Robin stands up for Barney, saying any woman who sleeps with him knows what she’s getting into. The group turns the whole thing into a party, fighting over which girl gets to move on in the tournament, and we hear a terrific list of lies Barney has told in order to get girls into bed (you have my wife’s kidney, owner of Google, fake baby). At the end, they all feel sad and a little dirty. Except Barney, of course.

After they narrow it down to four girls, Barney and Lily track them down one by one, but Lily refuses to ID the girl unless Barney apologizes. Fantastically, two of the four girls are ones we have met in previous episodes. We see the girl Barney took to someone else’s apartment and then left her there to get arrested for trespassing, and we see the girl Barney met the night he pretended to be “Ted Mosby, architect.” Unfortunately, none of the girls is the girl.

The group sets up a sting, with Barney pretending to hit on Robin. When Barney “goes to the bathroom” a girl approaches Robin, but Barney doesn’t recognize her. Surprisingly, Barney is shocked that he could not recognize someone he slept with and he actually apologizes, but it turns the girl is just a friend of Robin's from work. And then Ted’s voiceover says, “Eventually Barney did figure out who the girl was, but more on that later.” Could it be the mother?

The ep ends with Barney typing up his blog in a nod to Doogie Howser, M.D. It's really not that clever. It's only like 20% funny … and 80% lame.