Serious question: are you a boob man, ass man, or leg man?

Reaper – Acid Queen
Sam has a personal stake in finding a female escaped soul who has returned to kill women who are more beautiful than she is—and her next target is Andi. Meanwhile, Sam tells Sock and Ben they can’t be friends with Steve and Tony.

Sam tries to call Cady, but she doesn’t respond. The boys are bummed that they can’t be friends with Steve & Tony anymore (last week we learned S&T are demons). Andi apologizes to Sam for saying Cady is weird, and FINALLY admits, right to his face, that she likes him. He hesitates (out of shock, duh) but she backtracks and says it’s nothing.

Steve & Tony appear bearing apricot muffins, and the boys can’t resist them. Steve & Tony, not the muffins. S&T feel bad that the boys have been avoiding them, and the boys say they need space to figure things out. S&T are furious that they’ve been dumped. Later, Sock and Ben feel terrible and are desperate to be friends with S&T again.

After the confession, Andi is embarrassed and can’t stay in the same vicinity as Sam long enough for him to tell her he likes her back. Seriously, the relationship between these two is ridiculous. To quote Lily from HIMYM, “Just be together already! Happiness is not that difficult.”

This week the soul is an ex-model, Nikki, who is jealous of other beautiful girls so she burns them with acid. The boys go to a modeling agency and find a young guy to help them (who happens to be Tyler Labine’s brother). The vessel is a little plastic container of soap bubbles, like the ones kids play with. Sam tells Steve & Tony that he knows they’re demons, and they equate Sam’s distaste with homophobia. It’s pretty funny.

Sam and Andi have coffee and dance around the issue yet again, but he invites her over Friday night. The devil ribs him, and Sam claims he will break up with Cady before anything happens with Andi. The boys rig up a ridiculously complicated scheme to find Nikki and of course they lose her. Sock and Ben drop Sam off at the apartment building, then go to get food. In a badly needed departure from the norm, finally, Nikki shows up to kill Sam and he is rescued by a winged demon – who happens to be Steve. Ever since last week I’ve had a craving to watch Wet Hot American Summer, and seeing Michael Ian Black and Ken Marino again this week is intensifying it.

The devil tells Sam not to bother with Steve & Tony because they’re “bureaucrats.” Sam apologizes to Steve. Steve won’t accept. Sam tells Steve that he talks to the devil because his parents sold his soul. Steve suddenly agrees to forgive Sam. Something is clearly up. Tony gets the boys tickets to a party honoring the 20 prettiest women in Seattle, but its the same night as Sam’s date with Andi. She walks up while they’re discussing it, and Tony covers for Sam, telling Andi that Sam asked for a ticket for her as well.

At the party, Andi kisses Sam. At the same moment, Cady calls. I hope this doesn’t end with Sam losing both girls when they find out he kissed Andi before he broke up with Cady. Andi walks out, and Nikki goes after her. The boys save Andi just in time, but during their escape attempt Sam flips the car. Sam gets the soul, but Andi is taken to the hospital with a concussion. Sam feels awful in the usual superhero “I can’t be close to anyone cause they will always get hurt” way.

When Andi wakes up, Sam tries to convince her that she’s imagining everything that happened because of the concussion. She’s not buying it. He says there are things he won’t ever be able to tell her, but losing her is not a risk he’s willing to take. He leaves, and Andi cries.

Back at the ranch, Steve pops into the hallway and invites Sam in. He takes Sam into a creepy hidden room, where he says the devil can’t hear or see them. He says Sam is different because the devil pals around with him, and that the devil finds him fascinating. “All of us have our reasons to fight the devil. We have our reasons, and you have yours.” Hmmmm. The last time Reaper threw a seemingly interesting plot twist at us, it was a hint that Sam’s father had a deeper relationship with the devil than previously thought. That went absolutely nowhere. So I’m skeptical.

Also, sometimes I feel like I am the only person in the world who watches this show. Reaper returns to Tuesday on April 22.

ANTM Cycle 10: Lame Photo Shoot Edition

America’s Next Top Model – House of Pain
Tyra teaches the models how to express themselves at the end of a runway; the winner of a pose challenge is selected to work with photographer and judge Nigel Barker; and three of the girls get upset when one girl’s alarm clock keeps going off during the night.

Dominique sets her alarm for 6 am every day even though she doesn’t plan on getting up that early. Claire, Stacy-Ann, and the other girls in the room are irritated. Dominique claims she doesn’t understand how to use the alarm, and is a total brat about it. There is a lot of screaming and Dominique cries because everyone gangs up on her. Good lord, this bitch needs to be taken down a peg or two. Or twenty.

Tyra takes time out for a special lesson because all the judges have complained about the girls’ runway walks. During the lesson she dramatically collapses, pretending to sprain her ankle in order to teach them how to “pose with pain.” Tyra is so freaking weird, I love it. The models have another pose-off. Tyra thinks Whitney, Anya, and Dominique are good. Lauren does really badly. Aimee and Claire don’t do very well either. It turns out that this was their challenge, and Anya wins a one-on-one photo shoot with Nigel. A nude photo shoot. Nice one.

I had drinks with a friend last week who told me Anya’s accent, which I described in an earlier post as “deaf,” is actually what a Hawaiian accent sounds like. Oops. But really, she is going to have to work on that because the judges have already started to complain about it. In a side interview, Aimee talks about how she wouldn’t want to be pose naked because she’s Mormon and her body is a temple. She’s in for some trouble.

Dominique doesn’t feel well, so she gets into bed to rest. Claire, Lauren, and Whitney enter the room, sit on the couch, and loudly trash Dominique. When she asks them to leave the room, Claire basically tells her to fuck off. In tears, Dominique says, “You’re a really big person,” and Claire responds, “I never claimed to be a big person.” These girls are going to start throwing punches pretty soon.

For the photo shoot, each girl has to embody a style of music. It’s not one of the better shoots. Jay is not into Stacy-Ann, Claire, Aimee, or Anya. Dominique and Whitney both do well.

Cover Girl of the Week is Claire. Again! I wonder if her bitchiness will affect next week’s vote. In the judging room, the judges praise Whitney, Fatima, Lauren, and Katarzyna. They are not so happy with Anya, Aimee, Stacy-Ann, or Dominique. Tyra says this was Claire’s worst shoot.

It’s interesting how the girls who are praised during the shoot are often shot down in the judging room. Jay said this was one of Dominique’s best shoots, yet the judges didn’t like the final product. Gotta keep those models on their toes!



In the end Whitney wins, which makes no sense to me. So far all of Whitney’s photos involve the same facial expression. Katarzyna comes in second, but she should have won. I am growing to love Katarzyna. Tyra and the judges adore the wig she wore for the shoot, so they decide to chop off the rest of her hair. Perhaps now they will stop comparing her to a porn star.

Claire and Aimee are in the bottom two. Claire is “too comical and blasé,” while Aimee, who had the easiest genre (R&B), “fell flat.” Aimee is voted out, and Claire screams “YES!” While I respect the sentiment, it seems really mean to be so overtly thrilled while another girl dissolves in tears next to her. She doesn’t even hug Aimee before she bounces off to stand with the other girls, and that’s just poor ANTM etiquette.

Sloppy joe, shrimp cocktail, and a milkshake.

How I Met Your Mother – Ten Sessions
Ted is repeatedly snubbed in his attempts to get a date with Stella, his dermatologist, but her receptionist Abby becomes infatuated with him.

When I first read the TV Guide preview about this episode (above), I thought,"Wait, Ted falls for another dermatologist?!?" Fortunately, the ep focused less on the fact that she was a dermatologist and more on the fact that he was getting a butterfly tattoo removed. There is a bit of chatter on the web about whether Stella could be the mother we've all been waiting to meet, and whether adult Ted's kids could actually be her kids. However, this ep told us that Stella has one 8-year-old daughter, and there is no way the daughter we see in the flash-forwards is 8 years (or more) older than the son.

I also keep seeing stories online today about how Britney's performance on HIMYM is a huge step forward for her. She was kind of a bad actress, but I can forgive that because she isn't an actress to start. It was nice to see Sarah Chalke (Stella) again, who was terrific as always. Overall an enjoyable episode, except the speed date that Ted orchestrates at the end was sort of lame. I particularly disliked that they kept getting in and out of the taxi. There was also a distinct lack of focus on the other friends. Particularly Marshall. Boo.

But, there were two moments of pure HIMYM genius, perfect examples of why I love this show: great attention to detail and a nicely conveyed sense of everything coming together to lead Ted to his fate.

#1: Barney convinces Ted that Stella likes guys with mustaches, so naturally Ted grows one. Then, we flashback to a year earlier, where we see Barney bet anyone $10 he can get Ted to grow a mustache, and we see Ted take the bet.
#2: Ted can't believe Stella can know what her answer will be to a question he won't ask for 10 weeks. He asks his friends if they know what they will want for lunch in 10 weeks, and Marshall responds, "sloppy joe, shrimp cocktail, and a milkshake." 10 weeks later, guess what Marshall is eating? But what I love is that the writers don't shove it down your throat. Marshall's not crowing about how he knew what he would want for lunch, waving his milkshake in everyone's faces. Instead, it's a relatively subtle reveal that some viewers may have missed entirely if they weren't paying attention.

I'm not super impressed.

Lost – Meet Kevin Johnson
Ben knows about an impending attack to he prompts daughter Alex to escape from Locke’s camp. On the freighter, Sayid confronts Ben’s spy.

The episode tonight was a little different. Locke trotted out Miles, who tells everyone at the barracks that they're after Ben. Ben volunteers the information that once they have him they will kill everyone on the island. Of course they all want to know how Ben knows this so he tells everyone his spy on the boat is Michael. Ben tells Alex, Carl and Rousseau to head to "the temple," where the rest of the Others are hiding. They agree to go, and en route Rousseau and Carl are shot dead by a mysterious sniper. Alex says she's Ben's daughter and the shooting stops.

Sayid and Desmond are still on the freighter. They have very few answers as to why Michael is there. They have a brief encounter when he says he's there to die. Sayid and Desmond finally get him alone and Sayid makes him tell his story. He and Walt got off the island and made it back to the mainland. Walt won't speak with him because he knows what Michael did to get them off the island. Tom Friendly shows up off island to recruit Michael to be a spy on the freighter for Ben. Michael has been trying to kill himself but no matter what he can't. Tom tells Michael that the island isn't finished with him yet, so whatever he tries won't work. He also shows Michael a receipt for a 777 and the graveyard in Thailand where the bodies were dug up from and placed in the 777 at the bottom of the ocean that was all paid for by Charles Widmore. Eventually Michael agrees to get on the freighter to make amends for killing Ana Lucia and Libby, and to help get everyone off the island.

There are a few stunts that happen. Miles says something creepy about how he knows Michael's name isn't Kevin Johnson. Michael stumbles on some guys shooting skeet off the boat and they laugh when he says he thought they were on a rescue mission. When Michael tries to set off a bomb to take out the freighter, a little note pops up instead that says "not yet." This was something Ben rigged up because he calls Michael later saying he's Walt and tells Michael that there are innocent people on the boat and he doesn't kill innocent people. Michael then goes about sabotaging the ship right and left by disabling her communications equipment and the engines. Sayid hears all of this, twists Michael's arm behind his back, and hauls him off to the Captain's quarters, turning him in for sabotage.

• Keanu Nolte (Frank) says that he's out there because he and Charles Widmore thinks there are survivors from Oceanic 815. The men with guns don't seem to care much about survivors. It will be interesting to see what's going on here.
• It's official. Aaron is one of the Oceanic 6. That blows my theory about something happening between Claire, Jack, and Kate that has Kate ending up with Aaron.
• Everything Desmond says he sees has come true. He also told Charlie that he saw Claire getting on a chopper to get off the island. I wonder how this is going to work out.
• Judging by the preview for the next episode I think Claire might be in trouble. I think we're going to get a full dose of Lost when they're all back and put together.

Sorry there isn't much to say about this episode. It was an essential episode if you want to know what's going on, but it wasn't particularly exciting. I can't say I was super impressed. Maybe I'll think of something later, and I'll write about it. I think I'm going to rewatch this episode this weekend, and maybe a few others. Since we have a bit of a break I'll post about some theories I have and what not. Until then...

I’m not into dudes, but I think I’m in love with Steve and Tony.

Reaper – Unseen
After being kicked out of the house, Sock persuades Sam and Ben to move with him to a condo where their new neighbors, a gay couple, spoil them with home-cooked meals. Meanwhile, Sam is suspicious about Cady.

Ok, I missed the beginning, but apparently Sam starts to think Cady is the spawn of Satan because she snores really loud and bowls an excellent game – and when her ball goes into the gutter it then pops back out and she gets a strike, so he gets really suspicious.

Ted’s back! Sock wants the boys to move in together, so he forges Sam & Ben’s names on a lease without telling them. The guys are reticent, but finally agree. Sam’s parents don’t think he’s ready to live on his own. Isn’t this guy like 22?

The escaped soul was a hermit who “made the Unabomber look like a social butterfly.” His old hunting grounds have been turned into a city park, and he’s killing people right and left. When Sam admits he hasn’t told Cady he’s moving, Andi is intrigued. I swear to god, if I have to hear her say, “Sam and I are just friends” one more time, I’m going to lose my mind. This show really needs to fucking move on.

This week’s vessel is a countertop food processor. In the Work Bench Sam kisses Cady and a pane of glass behind her starts to crack. When he stops, the cracks stop. When he kisses her again, the cracking starts again. This makes him more suspicious. It turns out the soul is invisible, and on the first attempt to capture him he nearly chokes Sam to death because Sock can’t figure out how to work the vessel. The devil gives Sam a pair of glasses that will allow him to see the true face of evil. Sam refuses them, saying he doesn’t need the devil’s help. Hasn’t Sam learned anything yet?

The boys meet their next-door neighbors, a gay couple with a seemingly perfect life. When the couple invites them in, Sock says, “No thanks, we’re straight.” Steve and Tony offer to cook them a home-cooked meal. Sam is inspired by their state-of-the-art security system, particularly the motion detectors.

In the end, Sam manages to capture the soul through his ingenuity, and the devil gives him the aforementioned glasses in congratulations. Sam asks the devil if Cady is his daughter, and the devil says no. Sam uses the glasses on Cady, and is surprised to see that nothing is wrong with her. Cady, fed up with Sam, says she needs space.

Because the CW posts photos of episodes that have not yet aired, I unfortunately already know what’s in store at the end of this episode. Steve and Tony are demons who shave down their horns with power sanders. Sam catches them doing so, though they don’t see him.

Fun side note: the closed captioning turns “crab dip” into “crap dip.” Twice.