90210 S1E14: East Side Story

I’m not sure I remember this one; it doesn’t look familiar. But Debbie Gibson makes a cameo appearance!

Brandon arrives home one day to find their maid and an unfamiliar man having a hushed conversation with the Walsh parents. Upstairs, Brenda tells him that Jim’s new client is Chick Schneider, “the king kahuna of beach fashion,” and the Walsh family is throwing him a party at their house. Anna will be catering the party. Brandon disagrees. He thinks Anna’s being fired. When they traipse downstairs, Jim & Cindy tell the kids they’re going to let Anna’s niece Carla use their address to enroll in West Beverly. The strange man is Anna’s cousin Richard.

When Brandon meets Carla, he falls for her. Damn! For a supposed goody-two-shoes Brandon sure gets around. Brenda teases him about it, saying “every girl you meet suddenly becomes your next true love.” The funny thing is that the first time we see Carla, before we know who she is, it’s because Steve stops to gawk at her in the hall. I’m sorry, but this girl is totally not Steve’s type:



Also, she looks like she’s 14. Moments later, Dylan checks her out. Right in front of Brenda, who storms away in a huff. And Dylan longingly gazes back at Carla before chasing after Brenda. WTF? Seriously, Carla is not that attractive!

Carla plays hard to get, but Brandon is nothing if not persistent. On their first date she takes him to a community center where everyone is doing a synchronized dance. Girls in mom jeans & crop tops, guys in torn jeans & berets, all doing the same moves. This is one of those times when I long to know what the original song was, because I am quite sure it wasn’t this nonsense. And as much as I want to share this moment with you all, this is the best I can do:



Carla and Brandon start dating, but Richard is always lurking around and saying things like, “You better watch yourself, girl.” When Anna caters the Walsh party, Carla serves as a waitress. Even though she’s totally practical and professional about it, it freaks Brandon out to have the girl he likes waiting on him. Finally, after a bunch of weird innuendo about what’s going on, we learn that Carla witnessed a gang-related shooting, and Richard is a prosecutor who is trying to protect her. Carla tells Brandon she doesn’t expect anything from him, and that’s the end of that. Brandon is now 0 for 6 in the romance department. Whatta catch!

But wait! In the very end, as we cycle through each character to see how their part in this particular tale plays out, Brandon finds himself with Andrea. And…

B: I wish it could be like this with everyone.
A: Like what?
B: Like how we are with each other. Easy. Comfortable. Real.
A: Yeah, it’s nice.
B: I’m just glad we’re not attracted to each other. So we can always be friends. Good friends. Just friends.

OUCH! That would have been bad enough if it had stopped after “I’m just glad we’re not attracted to each other.” Did Brandon really need to beat that horse into a bloody pulp?