90210 S1E8: There’s No Place Like Homecoming

“Homecoming is everything that’s wrong with this place in stark relief.”

Ethan tells Annie he wants to ask her to homecoming but he can’t because it will hurt Naomi. She is all giggles and batted lashes. Really? Annie’s skirts are way too short and I can’t believe Debbie would go for that. But anyway, Naomi invites Annie over to get ready for the dance and they have fun. But when she sees them dancing together later, Naomi tells Annie that she can’t be friends with her and date Ethan. Annie chooses Naomi, but then makes out with Ethan in the parking lot. Classy.

Silver has made an appointment to get her wisdom teeth out on homecoming because she could care less about the dance, cause she’s indie and all that. Dixon plays it cool and comes over to hang out with her chipmunk-cheeked, high-on-Percocet self. When she realizes he really wants to go to the dance, though, she gets all dressed up, surprises him, and tells him to never be afraid to tell her things. They are totally cute as a couple. Where’s the strife?

Adriana goes to rehab. She is distraught because Naomi won’t return her calls. Navid keeps visiting her and bringing her stuff and is obviously in love with her. She doesn’t get it, and finally he screams that he likes her. Apparently they were friends when they were younger and he’s always loved her. Whatever. This is too out-of-the-blue, and doesn’t work very well. Naomi meets a hot young thug in detention. At first he’s all, “whatever, white girl,” but then she speaks fluent Spanish and he does a second take. He attempts to woo her at Homecoming and they dance, so hopefully he’ll be back on the scene in upcoming episodes. In the end, Naomi forgives Adriana. These kids are way too nice to each other.

Ryan catches Kimberly buying drugs at the dance and throws a hissy fit until she admits she’s a cop to shut him up. Then this happens, literally:

Ryan: How old are you?
Kimberly: I’m 25, why?
Ryan: grabs her and passionately kisses her

Ew! He did have a thing for her even when he thought she was a 16-year-old. PS, I learned on IMDB that Ryan Eggold, who plays teacher Ryan, is in reality one year older than Dustin Milligan, who plays Ethan. And it shows! What kind of casting is that?!?

Finally, Debbie gets fed up with Tracy and threatens to punch her in the face if she ever touches her husband again. Cindy Walsh would never do such a thing!