Squeeze my hand as hard as it hurts.

My So-Called Life – Strangers in the House
Sharon’s father has a heart attack and everyone feels vulnerable. Graham questions his life choices, and Sharon and Angela begin to mend their friendship.

When Sharon’s dad has a heart attack, Sharon moves into the Chase home while her mother stays at the hospital. Graham, who has always hated working at the print shop, starts to wonder if he’s wasting his life. In the end, Patty fires Graham so that he will be forced to pursue his dreams.

Angela tries feebly to make amends with Sharon, but she doesn’t really know how to start. This ep contains a lot of flashbacks to their idyllic childhood. Rayanne is totally neurotic about the friendship that is rekindling between A&S, probably because she has recently realized that Sharon is actually an interesting person. We also see in this ep that Brian and Rickie have stopped being awkward, and are now good friends.

Rayanne hears Sharon crying in the bathroom and ends up not only comforting her, but taking her to the hospital to see her dad. Angela, meanwhile, goes to class instead of accompanying them. She gets more and more uncomfortable around Sharon, and is uneasy about the idea of Sharon and Rayanne becoming friends.

Upset by everything, Angela hides under the bleachers to cry and runs into Jordan, who is smoking. Or maybe she follows him down there; it’s unclear. He says, “So are you crying or something?” She obviously needs something from him, and he is reluctant – my god, he turns his back on her! -- but she inches closer and finally he relents and hugs her. This is painful to watch. Moments later, his friend walks up and Jordan pushes her away.

Sharon & Kyle get into a fight because he’s not there for her. Brian, who is always there when the other boys flake, takes care of her. Angela gets jealous when she sees Brian and Sharon spending so much time together, so obviously she does recognize Brian’s feelings and likes being the sole object of his devotion. When Sharon makes up with Kyle, Angela questions how she’s been treating Brian and Sharon says, “YOU are lecturing ME about using Brian Krakow, when he is so obviously in love with you and you totally use him!” Brian is standing in the next room and hears all of this. And Sharon can’t believe that Angela can’t be nice to her even at a time like this. But in the end they both cry and admit that they miss each other, thus taking the first step on the road to mending their friendship.

Angela goes to share her overwhelming emotions with Brian (!!!), who is still embarrassed and treats her like crap. He keeps coming so close to admitting his flood of feelings to her, but he never fucking does it! Finally, in a vague and unsatisfying way, Angela admits to Brian that he is important to her.

And here is a love letter to my two best friends, courtesy of MSCL:
"There are people who’ve known you forever, who know you in this way that other people can’t. Because they’ve seen you change. And they’ve let you change." I love it!

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