OMG, holy crap, I think I'm going to pee my pants.

Lost – The Beginning of the End
As the fourth season begins, the castaways await rescue by the people with whom they have made contact, but are troubled by Charlie's final warning and break into camps led by Jack and Locke.
Photo © ABC.

“OMG, holy crap, I think I’m going to pee my pants.” This was my train of thought in the fifteen minutes leading up to eight o’ clock PM. This feeling was shortly followed by near-homicidal thoughts for those at ABC who billed this as the two-hour season premiere of Lost. If I had known that one of those hours would be a review of the last three seasons I would have taken a little something to calm my nerves. I managed to tune out by catching up on all the Unfitney drama going on right now.

Finally nine o’ clock rolled around and here we are starting up season four. I have never watched Lost while it aired on TV. With the cliffhangers they tend to leave you with, I have always preferred to watch it on DVD. If you missed the end of Season 3 it really isn’t too late to get caught up, but here’s a short summary that doesn’t do it justice. The crew captures Ben, the leader of the “others,” a parachutist named Naomi drops in and says she’s from a boat hired by Desmond’s GF Penny, Charlie drowns while blowing up a radio jammer and hears Penny say she didn’t hire a boat, Naomi the parachutist gets knifed in the back by Locke because somehow he knows Naomi isn’t who she says she is. In the end Jack meets with Kate at an airport and we find out all the flashbacks that were happening were really flash-forwards, creating the biggest mindfuck I’ve had in a while and completely changing the direction of the show. Was that quick enough for you?

• So the season starts out with Hurley being arrested after a car chase and shouting that he’s one of the “Oceanic six.” OK, so apparently six people get off the island. Now I’m sure the next three episodes are going to be a bunch of confusing flash-forwards about who the six people are.
• That scene where Hurley finds Jacob’s cabin and looks inside and sees the guy sitting in the chair and then the eyeball shoots into the frame. The guy sitting in the chair was totally Christian, Jack’s dad. WTF!?!?! Remember in season three when Jack finds the coffin and it’s empty. This also made me think about something I’d almost forgotten about. Remember in "Through the Looking Glass" when Jack is freaking out trying to get his Oxycontin and tells the doctor to go get his dad, he’s probably drunker than he is? That turned out to be a flash-forward and not a flashback.
• Why does that cop know Ana Lucia and why did Hurley lie about knowing her?
• Charlie tells Hurley he needs to go back and help “them.” The creepy lawyer for Oceanic who probably really wasn’t a lawyer for Oceanic asks Hurley, “Are they still alive?” That really sets Hurley off. When Jack comes to see Hurley at the institution Hurley says that he thinks they should go back. Jack also says something about growing a beard and that means the flash-forwards from last season’s premiere happen later.
• Evangeline Lilly is way hotter when she’s all dirty and sweaty. She still looks nice when she’s all cleaned up but I’d rather have dirty and sweaty Kate any day!
• I really wonder who the six are. Kate, Hurley, and Jack are the only three I know of for sure. One could have been Jack’s dad if that flash-forward from the finale didn’t just show Jack in some sort of manic state. I am really wondering who was in the coffin. I think it has to be either Sawyer or Locke. Both of them were loners and I could see everyone skipping the funeral except for Jack. Jack is too good inside and no matter how much he thinks he hates someone he can’t just let them go.
• Creepy Ben is totally creeping me out. He seems utterly terrified of what will happen when the people that are coming to “rescue” everyone arrive. I think he may be right on this one, and he knows something no one else does. He has the line of the night though. When Locke is getting everyone to leave with him Ben says, “Jack, with your permission I’d like to go with John.” Best.line.ever.
• If only six of them are left what did they tell everyone when they got back? Obviously they didn’t tell the truth about the polar bears, pirate ships, and creepy Ben.
• Creepy Ben’s voice reminds me of the Emperor in Return of the Jedi. “You will die…”

-- by Hans Blix

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