The Ex List S1E2: Climb Every Mountain Biker

“My mad skills are too much for the spaghetti strap to handle.”

Ah ha! We learn in the opening that Bella lives alone, while Cyrus, Augie, and Vivian live together, next door. This is only slightly better than all of them living together. During the gang’s traditional “stuffing our faces at an outdoor café while a marathon is going on” (I could hang with these folks), Bella runs into ex-flame Jake, a couch-potato-turned-athlete. In the flashback, we see that once Jake landed a 23-year-old punk rock Bella, he never wanted to leave the house. Or, as he says, “The only reason people go out in the first place is to find someone to have sex with while they watch TV.” He has already got that, so why go out?

Bella’s flower shop is called Bloom. How original. Daphne and her fiancé make a pact to not have sex before the wedding, so she moves in with Bella. Meanwhile, after googling a hot ex-girlfriend and being horrified at how she’s turned out, Cyrus creates the drinking game “Google Ex Smackdown.” Augie gets waaasted, while everyone else is barely buzzed.

Jake takes Bella on a series of athletic dates – ultimate frisbee on the beach, mountain biking, rock-climbing gym, kayaking. She finally convinces him to take her to a bar, but even then they end up playing Trivia Olympics. All this time, Bella is still watching Tommy Anzide’s cat and having regular run-ins with Elliott. And one night, the cat escapes through the bathroom window. While wandering the neighborhood looking for him, Bella discovers Elliott half-naked at a blonde stranger’s house. How big is this town, anyway?

Bella forces Jake to talk to her, explaining that their dating life thus far has been “like camp without the kissing and alcohol.” They finally sleep together, but afterward it gets super awkward when he starts talking about his ex. Like, immediately afterward. It’s really uncomfortable. And then we’re off. Suddenly all Jake talks about is his ex. Bella can’t stand it, and eventually dumps him. In the end, she is talking to Daphne about the situation and says that the right guy is the right guy. And Elliott knocks on the door.

Now. Although I thought from the pilot that Elliott was to be Bella’s soul mate, somewhere in the back of my mind I also thought that was just way too obvious. After this episode, I’m wondering what the chances are that Bella’s soulmate could be … Augie. Their interactions in this episode, combined with Vivian’s description of her relationship with Augie, just really struck me. I know that would cause all sorts of issues seeing as Vivian and Augie are two of Bella’s best friends but … I don’t know. I guess we don’t know if they have dated, but I can totally see it happening. What do you think? Am I crazy?

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