Supernatural S4E5: Monster Movie
D: “Sam, I have been re-hymenated.”
S: “Even an angel couldn’t do that.”
To let SN fans rest after a couple episodes full of dramatic exposition and escalating familial strife, “Monster Movie” was pure, unadulterated tongue-in-cheek delight shot entirely in black & white and styled after the classic monster movies of the 1930s.
Sam and Dean head to a small Pennsylvania town to investigate claims that a vampire has killed there. Dean is thrilled to be back on an honest-to-goodness monster hunt. They end up smack-dab in the middle of Oktoberfest and meet Ed, who swears he saw a vampire with a Romanian accent and a cape gnawing on a woman in the park. Skeptical, the bros decide this is not their kind of case after all. But wait! A werewolf attacks a lover’s lane couple, and mummy attacks a security guard. Suddenly, the Winchesters aren’t sure what’s going on. As Sam puts it, “This is stupid.”
Meanwhile, Dean decides that because he returned from hell without any of his old scars, he is a virgin again. And he is determined to lose that virginity. He hits on a local barmaid named Jamie, who returns his flirtation. He tells her he’s a “maverick” and if that’s just a coincidence and NOT a John McCain joke, I’d be amazed.
In the end, the boys realize they’re dealing with a shape shifter after Dean comes face to face with Dracula and tears his ear off. And it turns out Jamie’s fellow barmaid Lucy is the shape shifter. After dressing Dean up like an extra in a production of Hansel & Gretel, Dracula explains that real life is messy, movies are elegant, and he wants an elegant life. Pizza is delivered, Sam saves his big brother, Jamie shoots Dracula in the back with silver bullets, Dean gets to have sex, and everyone lives happily ever after. The end.
Now. There were just two things in this cheeky little episode that actually seemed related to the overall story arc. First, while explaining to Jamie what he & Sam actually are, Dean admits that his duties had started to weigh on him but now he realizes it’s a gift, not a curse, and he’s on a mission from god. So apparently Dean is 100% on board with the god thing. Secondly, though it might have been done just to set up the “re-hymenation” joke, I find it interesting that Dean came out of hell with no scars, no wounds, no “messed up fingers from being broken so many times.” Is this a physical manifestation of being cleansed of original sin? Or I am reaching?